Diane Simmons: Also in the news, some trouble at Saint Phillips church.
Tom Tucker: That's right, Diane, a shipment of tainted holy water could put some local babies in jeopardy.
Diane Simmons: Sounds dangerous, Tom. Be careful next time you're at confession telling the priest about cheating on your wife with that Filipino drag queen.
Tom Tucker: Well, at least you're in no danger, Diane, since you only visit church to leave your self delivered, unwashed, half-dead newborns on the back step. Coming up, how to turn your unwanted change into foldin' money.

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Show: Family Guy

Episode: The Father, the Son, and the Holy Fonz

Characters: Tom Tucker, Diane Simmons

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