Ari Gold Quotes (Page 3)
Lloyd: Ari, swear to me you will never say anything offensive to me about my race or my sexual orientation.
Ari: I can't swear to that, but I promise I WILL always apologize after.
Ari: [Berating an agent who attempted to steal Ari's client] You know what other class I took at Harvard? Business Ethics. I don't steal other people's motherf**king clients. But in your case, I am going to make an exception. I am going to take everyone: your B-level sitcom stars, your reality TV writers. When I'm done with you, you're going to be repping sideshow freaks. You need Jojo, the dog-faced bitchboy? call Josh Weinf**k, the light-weight pen-stealing f**kface. [Takes the agent's mimosa and sips from it] That's awful. [dumps the drink]
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 20th, 2007Ari [to Eric]: You know 'The Station Agent,' Eric? Monster hit at Sundance. It's about the midget who lives by the train tracks. Last time I saw him he was in a FedEx commercial. They were overnighting him to London. Sundance is a great festival for little people. You should kill over there.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 20th, 2007 Mrs. Gold: I ask for one hour out of the day for his undivided attention, and I can't even have that.
Ari: You can have it if you want to live in Agora f**king hills, and go to group therapy, but if you want a Beverly Hills mansion, and a country club membership, and nine weeks a year in a Tuscan villa, then I'm gonna need to take a call when it comes in at noon on a motherf**king Wednesday.
Ari: All right, when you talk to Dana, tell her I'm going to take the pictures from Cancun, and start a website called imahollywoodexecutivewhore.com and there will be no password or fee required, and I will take out a full page ad in the LA Times promoting it. Tell her I want a f**king call back.
• Rating 4.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 20th, 2007Ari: [after his Viagra has kicked in, to his angry wife] Come on! I'm like R. Kelly at recess here!
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 20th, 2007 Ari: The next one after "Queens Boulevard" is a studio picture: I'm talking franchise, baby. We'll get you the lunchbox. And an action figure with a huge c**k.
Vincent: It's definitely tempting.
Ari: I love you!
Gary Busey: You are a gut maggot without guts.
Ari: Geez, you're gonna spin off this planet. That's great! Keep it up!
Ari: [When Eric tells him that James Cameron is directing Aquaman] F**k you. Where'd you hear that, Friendster?
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 20th, 2007 Ari: Listen, Lloyd, do you want to make it? Or do you want to fold shirts at a Chinese laundry? Now pledge. Nod if you understand what I'm saying.
Lloyd: I understand.
Ari: You can't just f**king nod?