Barney Stinson Quotes (Page 3)
Barney: Look around you, Lily! You are in the heart of Bachelor Country. And as a woman, you are an illegal immigrant here. Now, you could try to apply for a sex visa, but that only lasts twelve hours...fourteen if you qualify for multiple entry, heh!
Lily: Ewwww....is something some lame, judgemental chick would say, but I say 'gimme multiple high-fives'!
Barney: WOW, you really are desperate.
Lily: I really am.
Ted: Okay, we HAVE to get Lily out of that apartment. Her roommate is a raccoon.
Robin: I'd offer her my place, but I have dogs and she's allergic.
Ted: Dogs? I live with her ex-boyfriend. I think she's more allergic to that.
Robin: What about your place, Barney? I know it's surrounded in mystery, but it's gotta have a couch.
Barney: The Fortress of Barnitude?? No way.
Robin: Oh come on. She's desperate.
Barney: Mmm, normally a prerequisite for the women I bring home, but pass.
Barney: ...And that led to a couple of hours that I cannot, as a gentleman, divulge to you. We did it, right here and here and here!
Barney: Dear Resident, The time we spent together, however long it was, meant the world to me. I would love to see you again but unfortunately I cannot. You see, I am a ghost. I can only materialize once every decade, on the anniversary of my death. I chose to spend my one day among the living with you, sweet resident. Perhaps we will meet again, in another decade--provided you keep your figure. Until then, all my love from the beyond, Barney.
Resident: Barney... Who the hell is Barney?
Barney: And thus ended the session of "Let's pour our hearts out in the bedroom of Barney's one night stand."
• Vote for this Quote! • March 31st, 2007 Marshall: [to Ted] You know what dude, forget about Robin, okay? You're hanging with us tonight. I've got an awesome party lined up.
Barney: Oh, God. This gonna be another one of your weird all guy parties?
Marshall: That was a poker game, what is wrong with you? No, it's the first law school party of the year and it's gonna be awesome! I haven't seen these guys since like last year before Lily and I broke-up. Something I have to break to everybody. This party is gonna suck.
Barney: Dude, lots of chicks think that architects are hot. Think about that, you create something out of nothing. You're like God. There is no one hotter than God.
Ted: I love it when you quote scripture.
Barney: Dude! You were awesome last night! You were charming, you were funny, you were totally working that girl!
Marshall: You went home with her!
Barney: Yes I did...
Barney: Do you like... magic?
• Vote for this Quote! • March 31st, 2007 Robin: This has to stop! Ted, we just started dating, we agreed we dont want to move too fast, and somehow, we have a baby. He can't feed himself, he cries alot, he keeps us up all night.
Barney: Have you tried breast feeding? Nailed it!
