Barney Stinson Quotes (Page 4)
Ted: I'm gonna call Barney.
[calls Barney]
Barney: Go for Barney.
Ted: Oh hey, where are you guys?
Barney: We're in a fundraiser, helping young women raise money for community college.
Ted: Stripclub...nice.
Barney: You know what Marshall needs to do. He needs to stop being sad. When I get sad, I stop being sad, and be AWESOME instead. True story.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • March 31st, 2007 Barney: So he stays home all the time not getting laid? No, see, that's what you do when you HAVE a fianceé. He should be out here celebrating! He's free! He got that red-headed tumor removed.
Ted: You should write and illustrate children's books.
Penelope: Is he a nice guy, or some jackass like Barney?
Barney: Hey!!
Penelope: You hit on my mom!
Barney: We weren't exclusive!
Penelope: Why should I help you?
Barney: We had a relationship.
Penelope: We had sex in your car twice and then you dumped me.
Barney: Twice!
Barney: You are forcing me to be the voice of reason. And that’s not a good look for me!
• Vote for this Quote! • March 30th, 2007Barney: Ted, do you want me to slap you again? 'Cause I kinda enjoyed it the first time.
• Vote for this Quote! • March 30th, 2007 [Barney slaps Ted across the face]
Ted: Ow! What the hell?
Barney: That wasn't me, that was the universe.
Barney: This feud goes so far back, I don't even remember who fired the first shot.
Marshall: You?
Barney: Totally!
Marshall: Executive mischief consultant Marshall Erikson reporting for duty.
Barney: Let’s make that bastard pay.
Marshall: Do you think that we should brush our teeth first?
Barney: Yea, that’s probably a good idea.
