Bart Simpson Quotes
Marge: Oh hi kids, you're just in time to go to the dentist!
Bart: DENTIST?! You said we were going to ride dirt bikes around the cemetery!
Lisa: Oh, Bart, you fall for that every six months.
Homer: [Pulls up on a dirt bike] Hey, suckers, check it out -- Marge is taking me to ride dirt bikes at the cemetery!
Lisa: You're going to the dentist too, Dad.
Homer: [solemnly] Why the cemetery, I wondered? But my dreams were too strong...
Dentist: Here's a free tooth-brush! Keep those teeth clean! [handing Bart a bag]
Bart: So you're saying I should do your job, for you, at home, for free? You wish! [Throws the bag in the trash can]
Jack Bauer: Chloe, I need those schematics! [Jack is engaged in a gun battle]
Bart: Who is this?
Jack Bauer: I'm Jack Bauer, who the hell are you?
Bart: I'm, uh..... Ahmed Adudi. (I made a doodie)
Jack: Chloe, do we know anyone named Ahmed Adudi?
Chloe O'Brian: Ahmed Adudi, wealthy Saudi financier, went missing in Afghanistan in the late 90s.
Jack Bauer: Really?
Chloe O'Brian: No, it's a joke name. You're being set up, Jack.
Jack Bauer: DAMMIT! [Scene change; Bart is laughing out loud]
Bart: Lisa, are you a secure line?
Lisa: I am. You're using a Bluetooth, the most vulnerable communications device known to man!
Bart: But it looks so cool! Listen, there's a mole inside CTU.
Lisa: A MOLE?
Bart: Yes, now I don't have much time so I'm just gonna come out and say his name. So get ready to know his name. His name is the following. M- [Martin knocks Bart unconscious with a French horn and drags him away singing Skip to my Lou]
Homer: Okay, here's the solution. I want you kids to lock the bedroom from the outside so I can't get out and perpetrate my nocturnal mischief.
Bart: Why don't you just stop taking the pills you hothead?
Homer: Because I'm filled with stress! [smacks him on the back of the head and moans] I've got three kids and no money. Why can't I have no kids and three money?!
Bart: Jumping Johnnycakes! Those dames are cheesed.
Homer: Son, I'll never understand women if I live to be 40.
Bart: Big if.
Homer: You said it. Enjoy me while I last!
(both laughs)
Bart: Want to go slam a few beers?
Homer: Want to watch me?
Bart: You know it.
Homer: Son, one day you're going to be a great father.
Bart: Aww, and someday you'll be one too.
Homer: Thanks boy, heh heh heh heh heh!
Bart: Utah? Home of America's most powerful weirdoes!
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • August 3rd, 2007Bart: What's wrong, mom? Thinking about your marriage?
• Vote for this Quote! • August 3rd, 2007Bart: Let me drive, I go through yellow lights.
• Vote for this Quote! • August 3rd, 2007
