Bart Simpson Quotes (Page 11)
Bart: Actually we were just planning the father-son river rafting trip.
Homer: He he. You don't have a son.
Bart (after Itchy makes Scratchy into a tent): The guys who wrote this cartoon don't know squat. Itchy should have tied Scratchy's tongue with a taut-line hitch, not a sheet bend.
Lisa: Come on, Bart. Cartoons don't have to be 100% realistic.
Bart: (depressed) Lisa...everyone in town has started acting like me. So why does it suck?
• Vote for this Quote! • July 18th, 2007 Bart: We come now to the final and most terrifying painting of the evening. To even gaze upon it is [dramatically] to go mad!
Homer: [looking at picture] Aah! They're dogs...and they're playing poker!
[Homer screams, laughs hysterically and runs away.]
Bart: We had a story to go with this painting but it was far too intense. [quickly] So we just threw something together with vampires. Enjoy!
Bart: Paintings: lifeless images rendered in colorful goop. But at night, they take on a life of their own. They become portals to hell, so scary and horrible and gruesome that-
Marge: Bart. You should warn people that this episode is very frightening. And maybe they'd rather listen to that old War of the Worlds broadcast on NPR, hmm?
Bart: Yes, mother.
Bart: You wrote me those letters!
Marge: You awful man. Stay away from my son!
Sideshow Bob: Oh I'll stay away from your son alright. Stay away... forever!
Homer: Oh no!
Sideshow Bob: Wait, that was no good... [walks away, The Simpsons are confused] Wait! I've got a good one now. Marge, say "stay away from my son" again.
Marge: No!
Bart: But who'd want to hurt me? I'm this century's Dennis the Menace.
• Vote for this Quote! • July 17th, 2007 Lisa: (to Grampa) So, we wrote the cartoon, put your name on it and sent it in.
Bart: Didn't you wonder why you were getting checks for not doing anything?
Grampa: I figured, cause the Democrats were in power again.
Lisa: I know! We'll write our own episode of 'Itchy and Scratchy'!
Bart: (confused) Cartoons have writers?
Lisa: Eh, sort of.
Lisa: I don't even know if I should go. I don't even like him!
Bart: You're right, Lis. You shouldn't go. It wouldn't be honest! I'll go, disguised as you!
Lisa: But what if he wants to hold hands?
Bart: I'm prepared to make that sacrifice!
Lisa: What if he wants a kiss!?
Bart: I'm prepared to make that sacrifice!
Lisa: What if he...
Bart: You don't wanna know how far I'll go!