Bart Simpson Quotes (Page 14)
Bart: Hey, Lis. Suppose I'm writing a second letter to a girl and I already used up my "A" material. What should I say?
Lisa: Ooooh, could it be there's a special someone you're not telling me about? Who is she, Bart? Is it Sherri?
Bart: No.
Lisa: Is it Terri?
Bart: No.
Lisa: Is it that girl with the lazy-eye patch?
Bart: No.
Lisa: Is it that foreign exchange student, Mx!pa?
Bart: No! It's...homework.
Lisa: Yeah, right! "Hey, Bart! Let's do some 'homework!'"
[Lisa makes kissy faces at Bart until he shoves her over.]
Lisa: Mom, Bart's making faces at me.
Bart: It's a nervous twitch, and I'm a little sensitive about it, if you don't mind.
: After all, you wouldn't be here today if I hadn't become the responsible head of a household.
Bart: Hey, Homer, can we have a can of frosting for lunch?
Homer: Okay.
Bart: Hey, Homer, why's Mom going to the doctor?
Lisa: Is anything wrong?
Homer: No, everything's fine. Your mother uh just... broke her leg.
Lisa: What!?
Bart: I smell a bun in the oven...
Lisa: Is Mom going to have another baby, Dad?
Homer: [nervously] Maybe.
Bart+Lisa: Whoa, alright! Way to go! [exchange high fives]
Bart: You're a machine, Homer!
Moe: Moe's Tavern, Moe speaking.
Bart: Uh, yes, I'm looking for a Mrs. O'Problem? First name, Bea.
Moe: Uh, yeah, just a minute, I'll check. [calls out] Uh, Bea O'Problem? [no response] Bea O'Problem! [no response] Come on guys, do I have a B.O. problem here?!
Barney: You sure do! [laughter]
Moe: [angrily] Oh... it's you, isn't it?!
[Bart laughs]
Moe: Listen, you! When I get a hold of you, I'm going to use your head for a bucket and paint my house with your brains!
Homer: What is it, boy?
Bart: Mmph! Mmph! Mmph!
Homer: Is anything the matter, my son? Talk to me, young man.
[Bart takes a pad and writes, "Say my name".]
Homer: Say your name? Why should I do that, my lad?
Bart: Because I'm jinxed, dammit!
[Homer punches Bart in the arm.]
Bart: Ow! What was that for?!
Homer: You spoke while you were jinxed, so I get to punch you in the arm! Sorry, it's the law! Heh heh.
Bart: My father invented that drink, and if you'll allow me to demonstrate...
Mrs. Krabappel: Bart, are those liquor bottles?
Bart: I brought enough for everybody!
Mrs. Krabappel: Take those to the teacher's lounge. You can have what's left at the end of the day.
Bart: Hey Homer, I can't find the safety goggles for the power saw.
Homer: If stuff starts flying, just turn your head!
Bart: Oh. Check.
Lisa: Here you go, Bart. It's a long shot, but that's all I can do without learning ancient Hebrew.
[Bart stares at Lisa hopefully.]
Lisa: Bart! I am not going to learn ancient Hebrew!!
Homer: Boy, you don't have to follow in my footsteps.
Bart: Don't worry, I don't even like using the bathroom after you.