Bart Simpson Quotes (Page 16)
Lisa: My birthday's in two days. I'm going to be 8 years old. It's a big number, almost double digits.
Bart: Well enjoy it while you can. Everything changes when you hit the big 1-0. Your legs start to go, candy doesn't taste as good anymore...
Mr. Burns: Hello, young fellow. I haven't forgotten you. Here.
Bart: Wow, a crowbar!
Lisa: It's to open the crate, stupid.
Homer: Don't you know the story of Hercules and the lion?
Bart: Is it a Bible story?
Homer: Yeah, probably. Anyway, once upon a time, there was a big mean lion who got a thorn in his paw. All the village people tried to pull it out, but nobody was strong enough! So, they got Hercules. And Hercules used his mighty strength, and bingo! Anyway, the moral is, the lion was so happy, he gave Hercules this big thing of riches.
Bart: How did a lion get rich?
Homer: It was the olden days!
Bart: Ching-ching-ching! [smashes a souvenir coin collection he received from Patty and Selma and takes it to the bank] Americanize this, my good man.
Clerk: Okay.
Bart: All those coins were only worth three lousy cents?
Clerk: Let the good times roll!
Bart: I need $100 for a comic book.
Homer: $100? Who drew it? Michael-ma-langelo?
Lisa: Hurry, mom! If we don't get to the convention soon, all the good comics will be gone!
Bart: Ah, what do you care about good comics? All you every buy is Casper the Wimpy Ghost.
Lisa: I think it's sad that you equate friendliness with wimpiness, and I hope it'll keep you from ever achieving true popularity.
Bart: Well, you know what I think? I think Casper's the ghost of Richie Rich.
Lisa: Hey! They do look alike.
Bart: I wonder how Richie died.
Lisa: Perhaps he realized how hollow the pursuit of money is and took his own life.
Marge: Kids, could you lighten up a little?
Bart: Ugh! I am through with working! Working is for chumps.
Homer: Son, I'm proud of you. I was twice your age before I figured that out.
Bart: Wow, Radioactive Man number one.
Comic Book Guy: None other.
Bart: I bet it's worth a million bucks.
Comic Book Guy: It is, my lad, but I will let you have it for a hundred because you remind me of me.
Bart: Lisa, I have this strong unpleasant feeling I've never had before.
Lisa: It's called remorse, you vile burlesque of irrepressible youth.
Lisa: Bart, Grampa is a kindly old man who trusts us. Are you sure its right to take advantage of him?
Bart: Lis, in these crazy, topsy-turvy times, who's to say what's right or wrong. Right now, my gut is telling me: "bleed Gramps dry."