Bart Simpson Quotes (Page 2)

Bart Simpson Photo

Bart: Look at me, I'm Otto! I'm 100 years old and I drive a school bus! [drives very crazy]

  • Rating 5.0 / 5Vote for this Quote! • August 3rd, 2007


Bart: So, Mr. Burns, you're saying my dad has gone insane, and thinks he's a god, and broken off all contact with the outside world?
Smithers: I told you Simpson was a poor choice, sir.
Mr. Burns: You know, Smithers, "I told you so" has a brother. His name is, "Shut the hell up"!

  • Rating 4.5 / 5Vote for this Quote! • August 2nd, 2007


Bart: Okay, but don't let our hands touch. It's gay.

Rod: What does gay mean?

Bart: Well, it means you used to be afraid, but now you're not.

Rod: [to his father] I'm gay daddy! I'm gay! Mrs. Simpson made me gay.

  • Rating 5.0 / 5Vote for this Quote! • August 2nd, 2007


Bart: Hey Dad, remember how you said if I used a chainsaw unsupervised I'd hurt myself? Well, you were wrong. I hurt someone else.

  • Rating 5.0 / 5Vote for this Quote! • August 2nd, 2007


Bart: Is this one of those reality deals where a guy gets a million bucks for marrying Aunt Patty but they have to honeymoon in a box full of snakes?
Homer: Son, that's the stupidest idea I ever heard... and I know exactly who would pay top dollar for it!
(picks up phone and dials)
Phone: You've reached FOX. If you're pitching a show where gold-digging skanks get what's coming to them, press 1. If you're pitching a rip-off of another network's reality show, press 2. Please stay on the line - your half-baked ideas are all we've got.

  • Vote for this Quote! • August 2nd, 2007



Bart: (after eavsdropping Homer and Marge, who then found out that he's gone; Homer pulls out his belt, so that he can whip Bart's butt) Time to face my punishment like a man, or find my way out of it like a kid!

  • Vote for this Quote! • August 2nd, 2007


Lisa (to Homer): I can't believe you stood Mom up!
Bart: Face it, Lis--men are dogs. The worse we treat you, the more you want us.
Lisa: That's not what dogs do.
Bart (laughing): You said "dog doo"! You said "dog doo"!
Homer: (laughing)) She sure did!

  • Rating 5.0 / 5Vote for this Quote! • August 2nd, 2007


Bart: Homer, I'll bet when you were ten, you were stealing beers, kissing girls, and tipping dinosaurs.

  • Vote for this Quote! • August 2nd, 2007


Bart: Ok ladies, don't you have a poodle to dress up?
Sherri and Terri: Fine, we'll go. We'll find some other way to entertain our boy-crazy cousin who thinks you're cute.
(they walk away to reveal the cousin)
Bart (shuddering in pleasure): I wouldn't mind pushing that in the mud.

  • Vote for this Quote! • August 2nd, 2007


Bart: What did those women expect? When you sign a contract with FOX

  • Vote for this Quote! • August 2nd, 2007


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Total Quotes: 196