Bart Simpson Quotes (Page 3)
Lisa: (thinking) Oh, my God, my brother's my best friend!
Bart: (thinking) Oh, my God, my sister's my best friend!
Marge: (thinking) Diamonds! I still can't believe he gave me diamonds!
Homer: (thinking) Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the baldest of them of all?
Milhouse: Then let's just say I don't care what people think of me anymore.
Bart: You mean up until now you did care? Then why did you wear that tutu to school last week?
Milhouse: What about all the times I didn't wear a tutu? Nobody ever brings those up.
Bart: Just forget everything you know about gravity.
Lisa: But I know so much about it.
Bart: Just do it!
Bart: Dad, how could you put my life in danger to save your own?!
Homer: You'll understand someday when you have kids!
Bart: Hmmm...all I need is one classic character. [sees Homer outside struggling with a lawn chair]
Homer: Widat-wi-stupid lawn chair! Unfold you- [chair snaps his tongue]OUCH!!!!
Bart: Perfect! [begins drawing]
Homer: This'll teach that stupid chair...Ahhhhhhhh! I'm on fire! [shows Homer running around on fire] Ahhhhh...I hope no ones drawing this! Ahhh!
Bart: [after Homer springs the trap] Thank GOD his pants stayed on!
• Vote for this Quote! • July 29th, 2007 Homer: Our next story is Hamlet, by William Shakespeare.
Bart: Dad, these old stories can't compare with today's modern super-writers. Steven Bocho could kick Shakespeare's ass!
Lisa: Look, this story's more exciting than you think! Start's off with Hamlet's father getting murdered!
Bart: Cool! Does he get to marry his mom?
Homer: I don't know but that would be hot!
Bart: I'm a ten-year-old boy in Toronto. I should be the happiest kid in the world. But I can't stop thinking about Greta.
Guard: Oh, you'll win her back, eh? And we're closing in five minutes.
Homer: Would a U. S. dollar change your mind?
Guard: American currency! What time would you like your breakfast, sir?
Lisa: Dad's on the log. Now Mom, you get the car and pull them to safety.
Marge: [Marge runs toward the car, but trips on a tree root] Oh, my driving ankle! Bart, I know this sounds crazy, but do you think you can drive a car?
Bart: [innocently] Okay, but it's my first time.
Marge: Here's the keys. [hands him the keys]
Bart: I got a set.
Lisa: [in jail] Thanks a lot, everybody. Now, I'll never get into an Ivy League school.
Bart: [taunting] You're going to Stanford, you're going to Stanford ...[Homer joins in]
Homer and Bart: You're going to Stanford! You're going to Stanford!
Lisa: Take it back! Take it back!
Homer: