Quotes > Shows > The Simpsons > Characters > Bart Simpson Quotes > Page 7

Bart Simpson Quotes (Page 7)

Homer (walking by absentmindedly): Hi, Marge. Hi, Santa's Little Helper. Hi, kid...hey, that's not Santa's Little Helper!
Marge: That's Laddie. Bart says he won him at a church carnival two towns over.
Lisa (with slight suspicion): In a truth-telling contest, right, Bart?
Bart: Uh, to the best of my recollection, yes.
Homer: Wow, I got to start going to church.

  • Vote for this Quote! • July 24th, 2007

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Bart: Put it all on my credit card, my good man.
Comic Book Guy (examining card): Oh...pardon me, Santos--if that is your real name, Bart Simpson--but your phony credit card is no good here. Now make like my pants and split. (points finger at door)

  • Vote for this Quote! • July 24th, 2007

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Bart: Hmm..."order by phone"..."1-800"...our phone doesn't go up to 800! Unless...

  • Vote for this Quote! • July 24th, 2007

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Bart: "Occupation"...hmm...butt doctor. "Income"...whatever I finds, I keeps. "Name"...hmm..."name"..."name"...(sees Santa's Little Helper)...my name is...Santa's Little Helper.

  • Vote for this Quote! • July 24th, 2007

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Homer: Son, maybe it’s the concussion talking, but any way you choose to live your life is okay with me.
Bart: Huh?
Lisa: [whispers] He thinks you’re gay.
Bart: He thinks I’m gay?!

  • Vote for this Quote! • July 24th, 2007

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Bart: It's back to the basics, classic Itchy & Scratchy.
Lisa: We should thank our lucky stars that they're still putting on a program of this caliber after so many years.
Bart: What else is on?

  • Vote for this Quote! • July 24th, 2007

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Homer: Ooh, I can't get enough of this blood pudding.
Bart: The secret ingredient is blood.
Homer: Blood? Ugh! I'll just stick to the brain and kidney pie, thank you.

  • Vote for this Quote! • July 24th, 2007

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Bart: And I'll take up smoking and give that up.
Homer: Good for you, son. Giving up smoking is one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do. Have a dollar.

  • Vote for this Quote! • July 24th, 2007

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Homer: This Friday, we're going back to the woods and we're going to find that alien!
Bart: What if we don't?
Homer: We'll fake it, and sell it to the Fox network.
Bart: They'll buy anything.
Homer: Now son, they do a lot of quality programming, too.

Homer: I kill me.

  • Vote for this Quote! • July 24th, 2007

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Bart: (dancing, after retrieving a toy plane from a rooftop) S-U-C-C-E-E-S! [sic] That's the way you spell success! (falls down roof to ledge)

  • Vote for this Quote! • July 24th, 2007

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