Bart Simpson Quotes (Page 9)
Lisa: Hmm. Pablo Neruda said, "Laughter is the language of the soul."
Bart: I am familiar with the works of Pablo Neruda.
Lisa: For five dollars, Milhouse could own you for a zillion years.
Bart: If you think he got such a great deal, I'll sell you my conscience for four-fifty. (Lisa walks away) I'll throw in my sense of decency too! It's the Bart Sales Event. Everything about me must go!
Bart: Soul? Come on, Milhouse, there is no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the boogeyman or Michael Jackson.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 23rd, 2007 Rev. Lovejoy: I know one of you is responsible for this, so repeat after me. If I withhold the truth may I go straight to hell, where I will eat naught but burning hot coals and drink naught but burning hot cola.
Ralph Wiggum: [continuing the repeating] Where fiery demons will punch me in the back.
Bart: [nonchalant] Where my soul will be chopped into confetti, strewn upon a parade of murderers and single mothers.
Milhouse: [clearly nervous] Where my tongue will be torn out by ravenous birds.
[A raven outside crows menacingly.]
Milhouse: Bart did it! That Bart right there!
Bart: George Burns was right. Show business is a hideous bitch goddess.
Lisa: Cheer up, Bart. Milhouse is still going to need a true friend, someone to tell him he's great. Someone to rub lotion on him. Someone he can hurl whiskey bottles at when he's feeling low.
Bart: You're right, Lis! I can suck up to him! Like the religious people suck up to God!
Bart: Ouch! My bones are so brittle. But I always drink plenty of... [reads the carton] "Malk"?
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 19th, 2007 Bart: Krabappel said you would give the teachers anything they wanted.
Principal Skinner: She did?
Bart: Yeah. She said you would fold faster than Superman on laundry day.
Bart: (talking on the phone with the Australian father) Hey, I think I hear a dingo eating your baby.
• Vote for this Quote! • July 19th, 2007Lisa: Bart, water will only go the other way in the Southern Hemisphere.
Bart: What the hell is the Southern Hemisphere?
Lisa: Haven't you ever looked at your globe? (tears off wrapping paper on a gift with a tag reading "Happy Birthday! Love Grampa" on it). See, the Southern Hemisphere is made up of everything below the equ... (looks at Bart, who is staring blankly) ...this line.
Bart: So say in Argentina, and Rand McNally (pointing at Rand McNally logo on globe), all their water goes backwards?
Lisa: Uh-huh. (rolling her eyes) In fact, in Rand McNally, people wear hats on their feet and hamburgers eat people.
Bart: (impressed) Cool!
Bart: You know, I have this feeling that we forgot something...
Abe: (still on the plane) (screams with his hands on his face)
Homer: Ehh, I'm sure it's nothing.