Bree (Van De Kamp) Hodge Quotes
Susan: "Well, I am certainly not playing with a woman that is willing to let Mike take the fall for her psycho husband."
Bree: "Well, needless to say, I won't be cooking dinner for Ian's parents."
Susan: "Fine. I'll cook myself."
Bree: "Good. Let me know if there are any survivors."
Susan: "And if you take Orson back, you do the same."
Susan: "What are you saying? You think Mike is guilty?"
Lynette: Hey, why don't we start that girl talk?"
Gabrielle: "I'll get the ball rolling. Anybody have a yeast infection?"
Bree: "They found Monique's blood on the wrench that Mike was trying to dispose of. I mean, that hardly screams innocence."
Susan: "Her teeth were pulled. You don't think that's worth telling the cops she was messing around with a dentist?"
Susan: "So I'm cooking dinner for Ian's parents tomorrow night, and it's the first time I'm meeting them, so I sort of wanna impress them."
Bree: "And yet you're cooking?"
Bree: "What are you watching?"
Gloria: "Home movies."
Bree: "It's fun looking back at the past, isn't it?"
Gloria: "Well, it's one way to kill time while you're waiting for death."
Bree: "We also have cable."
Bree: "You cannot let your mother move into this neighborhood. It's filled with junkies and whores."
Orson: "And we'll owe them all an apology, but who cares? She likes it."
Edie: "Let's try to be positive, people. Fabulous location. Just walking distance to all sorts of fun shops. "
Bree: "Right, from here I can see a bail bondsman and an adult bookshop."
Edie: "What do you expect in your price range? Tara?"
Bree: "Now you listen to me. That woman gave you life, and the Fifth Commandment tells us to honor our parents no matter how hideous or repellent they may be."
Orson: "That's not exactly what..."
Bree: "Orson, it's implied!"
Orson: "Christmas carols? It's not even Thanksgiving."
Bree: "I'm starting my cards early this year. It puts me in the mood to spread holiday cheer."
Andrew: "With the pack of lies in this family newsletter, she spreads holiday denial."
Bree: "Andrew, it's etiquette. Nobody wants to read the truth at Christmas."
Orson: "Well said, darling."
Bree: "Orson? If you have a moment, there's something I'd like your thoughts on."
Orson: "Certainly. What is it? The menu for our holiday open house?"
Bree: "No, it's the police report from the night you beat your first wife. I'm still working on the menu."
Orson: "I assure you, I did not beat my wife. She suffered these injuries in a fall."
Bree: "Well, how did she fall?"
Orson: "I pushed her."
Orson: "Darling, you are amazing, you know that? To rise above all that unpleasantness with such dignity."
Bree: "Well, thank you, darling. But if you think for one second that I'm gonna break bread with that malicious, pill-popping shrew, you're out of your mind."
