Bree (Van De Kamp) Hodge Quotes (Page 2)
Doctor: "She is resisting our efforts to pump her stomach. She says she only took three sedatives."
Andrew: "She's disoriented. Pump her."
Bree: "Andrew! Pump her."
Andrew: "Uh, Mom?"
Bree: "Andrew, please don't interrupt me while I'm speaking. True, I never bought her eldest daughter a gift, but you know my policy: no husband, no baby gift. Now what is it, dear?"
Andrew: "Well, um, Danielle's upstairs trying to commit suicide. There's no rush. She's not trying that hard."
Bree: "I am so tired of feeling like the worst mother who ever lived."
Andrew: "You're not. There's Grandma."
Vera: "I owe you an apology because I've been sitting on a little secret about your family."
Bree: "Oh?"
Vera: "Actually, it's not much of a secret. My daughter tells me it's common knowledge among the cheerleaders."
Bree: "What is?"
Vera: "The fact that Danielle is sleeping with her history teacher. But where are my manners? I should have brought some biscuits with that."
Bree: "Okay, that's what I was thinking. I mean, that's how Bunny Connors got Chlamydia."
Gabrielle: "She told me she got it from wearing someone else's bathing suit."
Lynette:: "No, that's how she got crabs."
Gabrielle: Poor Bunny. It's always something. If it's not the clap, it's a botched face-lift."
Bree: "How does this Dr. Keck fit into all of this? I mean, is he treating Andrew for some awful disease?"
Orson: "Actually, I think he was one of Andrew's clients."
Bree: "Howard Keck? Oh, that's ridiculous. He's got a wife and a daughter. He plays on Tom Scavo's bowling team."
Orson: "Well, that's clearly not the only team he plays for."
Bree: "This is a family event, and we're all gonna enjoy it together. Now, Danielle, stop sniping and start thinking of an alibi for your brother."
Danielle: "I know. We could say he joined a cult and we had to kidnap and deprogram him."
Bree: "Well, that would certainly spare the family some embarrassment. Why not throw in a killing spree, too?"
Orson: "I don’t want there to be any secrets between us."
Bree: "There won’t be, not anymore."
Danielle: "You know, Andrew is not the only one having a rough year. I’m the one whose boyfriend got shot in front of her."
Bree: "All she could tell me is what neighborhood they found him in. hey don’t have any contact information, no phone number, no address."
Orson: "Well, dear, if he had an address, he wouldn’t be homeless."
Orson: "Bree, what’s the matter?"
Bree: "A reporter just did a story on homeless teens and my son was one of them."
Orson: "Oh, my god! Well, we’ll call child welfare the minute we get to the resort."
Bree: "Orson, you can’t imagine that we're still going!"
Orson: "Darling, the tickets are non-refundable."
Bree: "My son is eating out of dumpsters!"
Orson: "Well, yes! But think how much better you’ll be able to deal with this crisis after a nice relaxing..."