Bree (Van De Kamp) Hodge Quotes (Page 3)
Bree: "He did not hack her up and dissolve the pieces in acid."
Gabrielle: "I said it was a theory."
Doctor: "Ms. Van de Kamp, I think you may have had an orgasm."
Bree: "No, no, no. I've had orgasms before."
Doctor: "Hmm. How would you describe them?"
Bree: "Oh you know, that warm sensation, that tingling feeling of relief when it's over. No, no, this was much..."
Doctor: "Better?"
Bree: "Yes."
Doctor: "That's 'cause it was an orgasm."
Bree: "Oh. Well, I'll be darned."
Gabrielle: "But you're gonna get married. You wouldn't buy a car without at least taking it for a little test drive. It's not like you've never slept with a guy you weren't married to."
Bree: "True, I have in the past, given myself away too freely. How charming of you to bring that up while I'm announcing my engagement. But I'd like to think that I have learned from my mistakes. So the dinner is at eight o'clock and when we make the announcement, please, everybody look surprised."
Gabrielle: "Oh, don't worry, I'm just gonna replay the look I had when I found out you hadn't banged him yet."
Lynette: "What are you being so coy about?"
Bree: "I'm not being coy."
Lynette: "She said coyly."
Bree: "This is my husband, Rex."
Rex: "Hi. We're not weird. We just seem like we are."
Bree: "Hello. I'm Bree Van de Kamp, your new neighbor. Is this your frog?"
Mary Alice: "Yes. Why?"
Bree: "Well, it seems that my son stole it from your yard."
Mary Alice: "Oh, well, I don't mind. If he likes it so much, he's welcome to keep it."
Bree: "Well, don't tell him that. If he doesn't feel guilty he'll never learn shame."
Bree: "You know what? Maybe Andrew leaving will be good for us. You are all I have left and I am going to be the best mother that I can be."
Danielle: "There’s definitely room for improvement."
Xiao-Mei: "I can’t go home. My uncle will sell me again."
Gabrielle: "Oh no, no Xiao-Mei, you’re not going anywhere. You’re much too important to Carlos and me. We’re gonna fight this and we’re gonna win!"
Bree: "Gaby, you can’t promise her that!"
Gabrielle: "Bree, you heard what she said. I can’t let this poor kid go back to China and become someone’s slave!"
Xiao-Mei: "Thank you."
Gabrielle: "All right, look my friends want to take some of this to go, so pack it up. And we’re a little low on coffee."
Bree: "Honey, you’ve got to eat something."
Gabrielle: "I don’t have an appetite. If fact, this is all going to go to waste. You guys should take something."
Lynette: "No, no, you should keep it."
Edie: "I’ll take a couple. What? Karl dumped me, so I’m alone. Food fills the void."
Lynette: "Karl broke up with Edie."
Susan: "Oh my god!"
Bree: "Yeah, apparently he was seeing someone."
Susan: "Really? Did he say who is was?"
Edie: "I know who she is. She’s a man-eating, scum-sucking ho bag!"
Bree: "No, he did not say."