Brian Quotes (Page 15)
Brian Griffin: Gosh, I was really starting to like this job. It was nice interacting with intelligent people. I usually hang out with an idiot.
[cut to Peter standing near the stairs with a water hose in a yellow and greenish bathing suit, as the water from the hose goes down the stairs]
Peter Griffin: Brian, Brian, check it out. I made a water slide in the house.
Brian Griffin: I'm not gonna call the hospital because you won't learn anything if I do.
Peter Griffin: Hey, hey Chris. When I was in school, you know what we used to do when a teacher gave us a bad grade?
Chris Griffin: What?
Peter Griffin: We'd egg his house. Come on, where's this bastard live?
Chris Griffin: I'll show you! That's his house!
[Peter and Chris laugh as they throw eggs at the door of the house until Brian opens it]
Brian Griffin: What the hell are you doing?
Peter Griffin: Is that him?
Chris Griffin: Yeah!
Peter Griffin: Oh, crap!
Brian Griffin: Oh man, look at that kid. That is one ugly eighth-grader.
Herbert: You don't wanna hurt yourself dancin'. Make sure you stretch out those creamy hamstrings.
Brian Griffin: Hey, uh, you two better settle down. Chris, give Meg her hat.
Chris Griffin: I don't have to listen to you! You're a dog! You don't have a soul.
Brian Griffin: Ow.
Stewie Griffin: Don't take that! Raise your voice to them.
Brian Griffin: HEY! Knock it off!
Stewie Griffin: You know, Brian, if I choose to make stool in my pants right now, you're the only one here to change me. What do you think of that, hmm?
Brian Griffin: I'm not going to change you.
Stewie Griffin: What?
Brian Griffin: I said, I'm not going to change you.
Stewie Griffin: Well, you can't be serious. Well, what if, what if I make a fudgie? Oh, well, I just won't. I just won't, that's all. I just won't. Blast! I just did!
Lois Griiffin: You'll have to excuse Peter, he can be a little tactless sometimes.
Brian Griffin: Yes, like the time he soiled himself at that dinner party?
[cut to Peter and Lois' dinner party. Peter sits with a blank look on his face]
Lois Griffin: I was so sorry to hear that your father passed away.
Woman: Yes. It spread through his body so fast, but, he's at peace now, and the whole f-
Peter Griffin: UH-OH!
Brian Griffin: Ask me how the queen of England is.
Lois Griffin: How's the queen of-
Brian Griffin: She's great.
Peter Griffin: Have they-they ever shown him doing somebody in and then feeding on him?
Brian Griffin: You're... you're asking if they've ever done a Sesame Street in which the Count kills somebody and then sucks their blood for sustenance.
Peter Griffin: Yeah.
Brian Griffin: No, they've never done that.
Stewie Griffin: [after finding out Jolly Farm is fake] I feel like such a fool. Don't even look at me!
Brian Griffin: Hey, come on. You want to get some ice cream? That would make you feel better, right? You want to get some McDonald's? Wanna take a dump in Mother Maggie's shoes?
Stewie Griffin: [nods]
Brian Griffin: Okay. Lets go take a dump in Mother Maggie's shoes.
Stewie Griffin: I think... the only reason we die is t--
Brian Griffin: Dude, dude, I know what you're gonna say, and I am so completely -
Stewie Griffin: Wait, wait, wait, wait. shhshhshhh. The only reason we die... is because we accept it as an inevitability.
Brian Griffin: Do you think I'll ever find the right woman?
Stewie Griffin: Oh, God, I... yes, man. Come on, dude, you're great.
