Brian Quotes (Page 9)
Peter Griffin: Hey, whass-a happ-a wit-chu? [canned laughter]
Brian Griffin: What the hell was that?
Peter Griffin: My catchphrase.
Brian Griffin: You don't have a catchphrase.
Peter Griffin: Why you gotta say-a like-a dat?
Mayor Adam West: I should warn you, I have a tiny bullet proof shield the exact size of a bullet somewhere on my body, and if you hit it, I'll be unharmed, and your plan will be foiled. You'll be the laughing stock of me!
Brian Griffin: [holding a gun to Mayor West] I don't want to shoot you, Mayor West!
Mayor Adam West: Good, because I'm incredibly crafty. Hey, what's that on the ceiling? [Brian looks up, and Adam jumps out of his seat] HA-HA! Now I'm over here!
Brian Griffin: Mayor West, you have to look at this. Ten-thousand signatures! I've been up for twenty-four hours, I paid off a few people, and I did a few things in West Quahog I'm not proud of.
[cut to Brian watching Sex and the City with two gay men so they will sign his petition]
Brian Griffin: So... it's a show about three hookers and their mom?
Brian Griffin: My petition! What the hell are you doing?
Chris Griffin: I'm going to get to touch right-wing boob because of this!
Chris Griffin: But Brian, the bible says gay marriage is an abomination.
Brian Griffin: Oh, don't give me that Young Republican crap, Chris. The bible also says a senior citizen built an ark and rounded up two of every animal.
Stewie Griffin: All right, Cathy, it looks like Stewie Griffin is preparing to begin the floor routine. That's right, Mitch, and as we watch Griffin doing this, I want to remind everyone that this is absolutely not gay.
[Stewie does his routine]
Brian Griffin: Boy, that was really gay.
Stewie Griffin: No, no, didn't you just hear the announcers? They said it's NOT gay. Ha ha! Stewie one, you zero.
Peter Griffin: I've steered our family through bigger problems, like when we were cartoon sketches on The Tracey Ullman Show.
[cutaway to a crude, Simpsons-like rendering of the Griffins in the front lawn, standing by a tombstone]
Lois Griffin: Well, that's the end of Puss. He was the best cat anyone ever had.
Peter Griffin: Say, Lois, whaddya say we go downtown and buy a dog?
Brian Griffin: Hey, wait a minute, you already have a dog!
Chris Griffin: So long, Puss.
Meg Griffin: We'll miss you.
Stewie Griffin: It's gonna be quite a different place with him gone, that's for true.
Lois Griffin: Hey...hey, Brian...he's knocking on the back door. What should I do?
Brian Griffin: What?
Lois Griffin: He's knocking on the back door! Should I let him in? I'm a-scared!
Peter Griffin: Hey, Brian, what's up?
Brian Griffin: Uh, hi, uh... Lois, Peter.
Lois Griffin: Brian, did you know this couch was here? It's so comfortable.
Peter Griffin: Hey, Lois, look how short Stewie is. He's so short!
Lois Griffin: Oh, my God, he is short!
Meg Griffin: What are you doing here, Brian? Still trying to smear my boss?
Brian Griffin: No, no, no. I actually came to my senses and realized I was out of line. Uh, I'm just here to apologize. [hits Stewie]
Stewie Griffin: Oh, and, uh, [in a dazed and forced voice, to Meg] You're so pretty. You're always pretty.
Meg Griffin: Aw, you guys are so sweet. [kisses Stewie on the cheek]
Stewie Griffin: Oh, well, it's my pleasure.
Meg Griffin: Hey, can you guys hold on a sec? I gotta get this to Helen in accounting. [walks out of the room]
Stewie Griffin: Okay, bye. [vomits in a vase]
