Carla Espinosa Quotes
Carla: Now Dr. Cox needs our help getting through this. Jordan can watch him in the morning and at night, but she's got Jack, plus... she's not that emotionally available.
Jordan: [smiling] I'm dead inside!
Carla: What if I said "There's a skinny Turk"?
Turk: [Looks Offended]
Carla's Narration: And now his boyfriend will comfort him...
JD: [Appearing from no where] Don't listen to her Brown Bear, your body is fierce!
Turk: Is it?
JD: Like Taye Diggs!
Turk: [to Carla, smugly] Taye Diggs
Turk: [To J.D.] Let's think about some of the great girls you've let slip through your fingers - Kylie, Jamie, Gift Shop Girl, Mini McSkinny, Mole Butt, Tina Two Kids, Rumplefugly... I'm forgetting someone.
Carla: [thinking] Oh my God, Turk, if you forget Elliot, she's gonna cry. [aloud, motioning furiously to Elliot] Turk, aren't you forgetting the greatest girl of them all?
Turk: [snaps his fingers] Heidi Horse-face!
Elliot: [in tears] Me, Turk, she is talking about me, okay.
J.D.: Relax, Elliot, you're Mole Butt.
Ted: Did you hear the lottery's up to $100,000,000? If I win, it's going to be separate beds for me and my mom!
Carla: And you could spend the other $99,999,000 on therapy.
Dr. Kelso: Okay, listen up, everyone. For budgetary reasons, we are turning the bathrooms on even-numbered floors into patients rooms. To sum up, floors two and four are no longer for one or two. Actually, there's still a bathroom on two, but then my joke wouldn't've worked.
Carla: And...?
Dr. Cox: I'm sorry, would you repeat the question?
Carla: Are you just gonna roll over like that?
Jordan: That's weird. I asked him the same last night.
Carla: Where's the outrage, the anger, the heat?
Jordan: Again! Last night!
Carla: You've gone soft.
Jordan: Okay, now it's just spooky!
Turk's Narration: From the moment I woke up this morning, I have been freaking out about getting married. Luckily, Carla's being cool.
[Carla enters from the bedroom.]
Carla: OK, this is your last chance to uninvite that slut you went out with in high school.
Turk: She's married to my brother.
Carla: Isn't that convenient.
Turk's Narration: Thank God she thinks that hot chick Tina I invited is my cousin. Well guess what, there's no blood there, baby!
Carla: Oh, and by the way, don't think for a second that your "cousin" Tina is gonna be sitting at our table.
Turk's Narration: Oh my God, she's in my head! It's OK--use it to your advantage. Make me a grilled cheese sandwich, woman!
Carla: Make it yourself.
Turk's Narration: [screams]
Turk: You know Elliot, you are eventually going to have to take off your sock.
Elliot: If I do, then from now on when one of you guys look at me all you're going to think of me as giant gross foot. It's like that security guard with the hook for the hand. All everybody thinks when they look at him is, big giant afro.
Carla: I do think that.
J.D.: Hey, Sean, you were right about me and my interns. I guess I owe you an apology.
Carla: Damn straight, you do! You know what your problem is, Bambi? You're-- Oh! Turk! Please? Just one more second? I need the rush! Please?
Elliot: My life is a mess!
J.D.: At least you're pretty.
Elliot: Yeah, well, pretty don't pay the rent!
Carla: It does for my sister.
Elliot: Oh, my God, your sister's a prostitute!?
Carla: She's a model. Come on, Elliot, we talked about thinking before we speak.
Turk: She called me Mr.
Carla: Maybe it's because you're bald.
Turk: I'm not bald. I shave my head.
Carla: Then let it grow back
Turk: Careful baby.