Carlos Solis Quotes
Gabrielle: "You recorded our lovemaking?"
Carlos: "It's all right here, your honor. When she climaxes, she actually starts screaming out dollar amounts."
Carlos: "You wanna wash my shorts?"
Gabrielle: "I don't want to, but if you wear them one more time, they're gonna ask me themselves."
Gabrielle: "You peed in my shampoo. Admit it!"
Carlos: "What?"
Gabrielle: "Yeah, the cap was loose, and I know how your sick mind works."
Carlos: "Oh, really? Well, in that case, you should know that if I was gonna do something like that, I wouldn't do it to your shampoo. I would do it to your mouthwash, soup, and decaf coffee."
Carlos: "Gaby, I'm trying to be civil, but if you don't knock it off right now, I swear, the gloves are coming off."
Gabrielle: "Oh, honey, the gloves aren't just off. They're 70 percent off! Get your cashmere gloves!"
Gabrielle: "Stop eating my fries!"
Carlos: "I'm hungry."
Gabrielle: "You know what the doctor said. You should see his cholesterol. This man bleeds bacon grease."
Mr. Portsmith: "Enough! You two are gonna have to find a way to deal with each other because you are about to bring a child into this world. And divorced or not, once that child arrives, you will be bound together for as long as you live."
Gabrielle: "Well, in that case, have some more fries."
Gabrielle: "You heard me. And I want the bedroom stereo. want the marble console and that painting of Saint Augustine."
Carlos: "You don't even know who he is!"
Gabrielle: "I know he matches the drapes!"
Carlos: "I can't believe you lost our baby!"
Gabrielle: "I did not lose our baby. Stop saying that! I know exactly where it is. Inside some crazy Chinese woman. Who also stole half a chicken from my fridge!"
Carlos: "Do you have to be so high-maintenance?"
Gabrielle: "You married a model, Carlos. Maintenance is my only skill!"
Dale: "I got kinda held up in Florida longer than I thought."
Carlos: "Spring break, right?"
Dale: "Yeah. Oh man, we were wasted 24-7! Then I got the message, I just thought my friends were messin’ with me. Those butt wads!"
Carlos: "You wanna be a better mother? Do what my mama did... make sacrifices. My mama worked her fingers to the bone for me."
Gabrielle: "That’s what put her in an early grave. Well, that and the hit and run thing."
