Celia Hodes Quotes (Page 2)
Celia: Have you ever had sex with a woman?
Nancy: None of your business.
Celia: Oh come on, tell me.
Nancy: Okay, I slept with a woman in college.
Celia: How was it?
Nancy: Boring.
Celia: Well, maybe you didn’t do it right.
Nancy: She said I was the best she’d ever had.
Celia: What are you doing Friday night?
Celia: You know, I read somewhere that killing small animals is the first sign of psychotic behavior. You should really tell the parents, they can rush that little sociopath into therapy before he starts tooling around Agrestic in a white van with blacked out windows.
• Vote for this Quote! • August 27th, 2007 Celia: I’m sick of men. Maybe I missed my calling. I mean, what if I was supposed to be a dyke, but just made a wrong turn by mistake. It would explain a hell of a lot. Here’s the thing, I really wanna f**k around on Dean, but the thought of having to put one more c**k in my mouth is just too depressing.
Nancy: I’m not sure a vagina would be any kind of improvement for you.
Celia: Maybe you’re right. The truth is, p***y really skeeves me out. That whole mirror investigation thing we did when we were young, truly a rude awakening.
Nancy: (reads flier) "What to do if you meet a mountain lion. Give the mountain lion some room. Don’t make eye contact. Talk to the lion softly..." Are you sure this isn’t what to do if you want to date a mountain lion? Well, I have a lot to do, Celia, so...
Celia: Have you ever had sex with a woman?
Nancy: Excuse me?
Celia: I think I’d like to try it.
Celia: You really should lock your front door.
Nancy: I do lock it. But Lupita leaves it open so she doesn’t have to dig for her keys. Drives me insane.
Celia: Subtle revenge for having to clean our toilets.
Nancy: I still say we got the better end of that deal.
Celia: Hey Nancy! Where’s your... where’s your ring?
Nancy: My ring?
Celia: Yeah, your pretty little diamond ring.
Nancy: It’s in the shop.
Celia: Oh, well, I hope they can fix it.
Nancy: Yes, me too, Celia. Thanks!
Celia: He always did excellent work down there… Piece of s**t.
Tennis Pro: Is that what you think? He’s s**t?
Celia: You know, when you stop being cute and clean and funny at home and start spending afternoons with your head buried in the snatch of the tennis pro. Yeah, you’re a piece of s**t.
Tennis Pro: We need to go somewhere where we can get very, very drunk.
Celia: I’m a mean drunk. Let’s go.
Celia: Jesus-Loves-You-Judy loves her hillbilly heroine.
• Vote for this Quote! • August 27th, 2007 Silas: I am her family.
Celia: Ugh, God, poor thing. Do you really think that my daughter had deep romantic feelings for you? Is that what you think? Now I’m sure that you were a fun and sweaty diversion for her, but the truth is Quinn had a day and a half to get all of her ducks in a row before going to Mexico and she didn’t call you. She didn’t write or IM or e-mail you either, did she? But I’ll tell you what she did do, she downloaded 2,000 songs into her iPod and dyed her hair pink with black on the tips. Because all that Quinn cares about is Quinn. She takes after her father that way…. Poor schmuck.
