Chandler Bing Quotes (Page 11)
Chandler: Hi... Um, okay, next word would be... Chandler! Chandler... is my name, and... h... h... hi.
Aurora [amused]: Yes, you said that.
Chandler: Yes, yes I did, but what I didn't say was what I was about to say, what I wanted to say was, uh... would you like to go out with me sometime, thank you, goodnight. [starts to walk away without waiting for an answer]
Chandler: You know, you deserve this. After all your years of struggling, you've finally been able to crack your way into show business.
Joey: Okay. Okay, fine! Make jokes. I don't care! This is a big break for me!
Joey: ... 95, 96, 97. See, I told you! Less than a hundred steps from our place to here.
Chandler: You got way too much time, man.
[In the girls' apartment, Chandler is suffering from nicotine withdrawal.]
Monica: Where's Joey?
Chandler: Joey ate my last stick of gum, so I killed him. Do you think that was wrong?
Chandler: Hey, you know? I've had it with you guys, and your "cancer", and your "emphysema", and your "heart disease." The bottom line is smoking is cool, and you know it!
• Vote for this Quote! • August 5th, 2007 [The gang watches a sonogram of Carol's baby.]
Joey: What are we supposed to be seeing here?
Chandler: I don't know, but… I think it's about to attack the Enterprise.
Rachel: I know I had it this morning… I know I had it when I was in the kitchen with…
Chandler: Dinah?
Chandler: I think, for us, kissing is pretty much like an opening act, y'know? I mean, it's like the stand-up comedian you have to sit through before Pink Floyd comes out.
Ross: Yeah, and-and it's not that we don't like the comedian, it's that-that... that's not... why we bought the ticket.
Chandler: You see, the problem is, though, after the concert's over, no matter how great the show was, you girls are always looking for the comedian again. Y'know? I mean, we're in the car, we're fighting traffic... basically, just trying to stay awake.
Rachel: Yeah, well, word of advice: bring back the comedian. Otherwise next time you're gonna find yourself sitting at home, listening to that album alone.
Joey: Are we still talking about sex?
Chandler: Alright kids, I gotta get to work. If I don't input those numbers… doesn't make much of a difference.
• Vote for this Quote! • August 4th, 2007 [Joey tweaks Ross about his ex-wife being a lesbian.]
Ross: She didn't know! How should I know?
Chandler: Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian.
[Everyone turns to stare at him.]
Chandler: Did I say that out loud?
