Chandler Bing Quotes (Page 5)
Chandler: I'll get you the Cliff Notes.
Joey: The what?
Chandler: The abridgment.
Joey: Oh, okay. [to Ross] The what?
[edit]
Joey: Yes! Guess who's in an audition for a Broadway musical?
Chandler: I want to say you but, that seems like such an easy answer.
Joey: It is me! It's a musical version of Tale of Two Cities. So I think I'm gonna sing "New York, New York", and ah, oh "I Left My Heart in San Francisco".
Chandler: Whoa, ah, hold on a second, Joe. Where did Dutch people come from?
[Joey helplessly looks at Ross, then turns back.]
Joey: Ah, well, the, uh… Pennsylvania Dutch come from Pennsylvania.
Chandler: And the, ah… other Dutch people? They come from somewhere near the Netherlands, right?
Joey: Nice try! See, the Netherlands is this make-believe place where Peter Pan and Tinkerbell come from.
Margha: Oh, my!
Ross: Enough with "Geography for the Insane". Let's play some ball.
Joey: Alright! We have to pick captains.
Chandler: And then Tennilles.
Monica: Joey, take your time with that. That's my last batch.
Joey: No more jam?!
Rachel: Well, what happened to your jam plan?
Monica: I figured out I need to charge seventeen bucks a jar just to break even. So, I've got a new plan now...Babies.
Chandler: Well, your gonna need much bigger jars.
Chandler: Hey, Joe, I gotta ask. The girl from the Xerox place buck naked [holds up one hand], or, or a big tub of jam. [holds up the other hand]
Joey: Put your hands together
Chandler: You know what's weird? Donald Duck never wore pants. But whenever he's getting out of the shower, he always put a towel around his waist. I mean, what is that about?
• Vote for this Quote! • August 7th, 2007 Joey: Okay, buddy boy, here it is. You hide my clothes, I'm wearing everything you own.
Chandler: Oh, my God! That is so not the opposite of taking somebody's underwear!
Joey: Look at me! I'm Chandler! Could I be wearing any more clothes? Maybe if I wasn't going commando!
Joey: "Okay you hide my underwear, I'm gonna do the exact opposite to you!"
Chandler: "Oh, What are you gonna do? Show me my clothes?
Joey: "Hey opposite ... Is Opposite!"
Chandler: "He's got nothing!"
Joey [to Chandler]: Where's my underwear?
Ross: Woah woah...come on, you took his underwear?
Chandler: He took my essence!
Ross: Okay Joey, hold on. Why can't you just wear the underwear you're wearing now?
Joey: Because I'm not wearing any underwear now.
Ross: Okay, um, then, why do you have to wear underwear tonight?
Joey: It's a rented tux, 'kay? I'm not gonna go commando in another man's fatigues.
