Chandler Bing Quotes (Page 8)
Ross: Oh, hello.
Phoebe: Oh, thanks. I couldn't uh...
Ross: Is everything ok?
Phoebe: Um, no, huh-uh. One of my clients died on the massage table today.
Ross: Oh my god.
Chandler: That's a little more relaxed than you want them to get.
Chandler: and last but not least...[Joey and Chandler hand Monica a packet of condoms]
Joey: They're ribbed for your pleasure!
Joey: and for Ross...Mr. Sweet Tooth.
Ross: You got me a cola drink?
Chandler: and...A LEMON-LIME!
Ross [sarcastically]: Well, this is too much! I feel like I should get you another sweater.
Chandler: Okay, Pheebs, your turn. [and gives her gift]
Phoebe [excited]: TOILET SEAT COVERS!...Is that what you were doing while I was getting gas?
Joey and Chandler: Yeah
Phoebe: You guys!
[Chandler, Joey and Phoebe return from their outing]
Chandler: ho-ho-ho-holy crap, is it hot in here!
Joey: You mind if I turn the heat down?
Monica [sarcastically]: Hey!, we could have used that kind of thinking earlier!
[moments later]
Joey: Hey Monica, the knob was broken so I turned it off from underneath. I hope that's alright?
[then everyone turns around and looks at Joey with bewilderment]
Chandler: I remember my father dressed in the red suit, the big black boots and the patent leather belt, sneaking around downstairs. He didn't want anybody see him, but he'd be drunk so he'd stumble crash into something and wake everybody up.
Rachel: Well that doesn't sound like a very merry Christmas.
Chandler: Who said anything about Christmas?
Chandler: It has 12 Mb ram, 500 HD and 28000 BPS!
Monica: So, what are you gonna use it for?
Chandler: You know, games and stuff...
Ross: Why is this woman leaving a message for you on my machine?
Chandler: Oh. See, I had to tell her that your number was my number, because I couldn't tell her that my number was my number, because she thinks that my number is Bob's number!
Ross: Hey, tell me again what I do when Mr. Roper calls?
Chandler: You said he was going to do my inseam, then he ran his hand up my leg, and then there was definite...!
Ross: What?
Chandler: Cupping.
Joey: That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over, then they go up the other side, they move it back, and then they do the rear.
[Chandler and Ross stare at him, aghast.]
Joey: What? Ross, will you tell him? Isn't that how a tailor measures pants?
Ross: Yes, yes, it is... in prison!
Chandler: [imitating cavemen] Men are here.
Joey: ...We make fire. Cook meat.
Chandler: .....Then put out fire by peeing no get invited back.
