Charlie Harper Quotes
Charlie: I'll admit you're kookie Judith. But compared to our mother you're like a fart in a hurricane.
• Rating 3.9 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • August 27th, 2007Charlie: The kid plays, and I have a date. Everybody wins.
• Rating 1.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • August 27th, 2007 Charlie: And here's another fun fact. I'll bet she's had sex with more girls than you too.
Alan: (scoffs again, and again does the math and smiles) That is a fun fact!
Charlie: Hey, here's a fun fact. You're sleeping with a girl who was born when you were in Junior High, and yet there's a good chance she lost her virginity before you did.
• Rating 2.8 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • August 27th, 2007 Charlie: Alan, there comes a time in every man’s life when he has to make a choice; does he want to be loved, or does he want to get laid. Fourteen years ago you made the wrong choice. You got married, and you wound up with neither. But now, fate has given you another chance. Welcome it. Embrace it. Grab it's pert little ass.
Alan: What am I supposed to do, walk into my son’s birthday and say "Hey everybody, look at this gorgeous twenty-two year old woman I'm having sex with."
Charlie: Oh don't be silly. You don't want to rub their faces in it, you just want them to know where yours has been.
Charlie: Rose has a boyfriend.
Alan: A real one or like Toby the astronaut?
Charlie: (reading Jake's test answers) What is Sacajawea? A bag full of Jawea.
• Rating 2.8 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • August 27th, 2007Charlie: Women are suckers for a good apology. Just keep shoveling it on till roses start growing in it.
Alan: Poor Satan. He'll come for your soul but he'll leave empty-handed.
Charlie: I want you to tell me there's no way either of us will have to call a woman I slept with, daddy.
Charlie: I slept with a woman who wanted to be a man. Or, I slept with a man in a woman's body. Or, and this is my new favorite and the title of my autobiography, my mom and I slept with the same dude!
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • August 27th, 2007