Chef Quotes
Chef: "Come on, children. Let's go find ourselves a nice white woman to make love to."
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • September 11th, 2007Chef: [In sound clips of his voiced mixed together] I want to stick my balls inside your rectum, Kyle. I'm gonna make love to your asshole, children. Kenny, how would you like to sodomize my black ass?
• Vote for this Quote! • September 10th, 2007 Cartman: And we'll need a black guy who will sacrifice himself when the others are in danger. [camera moves back and forth passing Chef several times] Oh how about...
Chef: [irritated] Yeah I know!
Chef: Well, you children should be careful with those weapons, you could put somebody's eye out.
Kyle: Yeah, we know.
Mr. Garrison: Chef, what did you do when white people stole your culture?
Chef: Oh, well, we black people just always tried to stay out in front of them.
Mr. Slave: How did you do that?
Chef: Well, like with our slang. Black people always used to say, "I'm in the house" instead of "I'm here." But then white people all started to say "in the house" so we switched it to "in the hizzouse." Hizzouse became hizzizzouse, and then white folk started saying that, and we had to change it to hizzie, then "in the hizzle" which we had to change to "hizzle fo shizzle," and now, because white people say "hizzle fo shizzle," we have to say "flippity floppity floop."
Mr. Garrison: We don't have time for all that, Chef! Oh, if only those Queer Eye For the Straight Guy people understood what they were doing. Wait. That's it! I know exactly what to do! Come on, Mr. Slave! Let's get back to our flippity floppity floop.
Chef: Oh no! Dammit! Don't call it that!
Chef: A proctologist is someone who specialises in your asshole, children.
Stan: Wait, so at one point in this guy's life, he wanted to work up people's buttholes?
Chef: That's right!
Kyle: God, what a d**k.
Cartman: Hey, guys! How's it goin'?
Chef: …Cartman?
Stan: No, that's Kenny.
Cartman: What the hell are you assholes doing here?
Stan: That's Cartman.
Cartman: I'll take three lunches today, please.
Chef: You don't need three lunches, Eric! You're fat enough as it is!
Cartman: It is my life choice, Chef, and if you don't tolerate it I'll report you to the SEC.
Chef: Hello there, children.
Stan: Chef, what would a priest want to stick up my butt?
Chef: ...Goodbye.
Stan: We killed our teacher and they found our seamen in her stomach.
Chef: Oh, children, that's a problem we all have to face at one time or another. Here: let me sing you a little song that might cheer you up. Sometimes you kill your teacher and they find your semen in her stomach, and uh-- Wait! What the what?!
Stan: So what should we do?
