Chief Wiggum Quotes (Page 2)
Ralph Wiggum: Bye, witches! Thanks for not eating me!
Chief Wiggum: [turned into a gopher] Yeah, you hags are alright!
Wiggum: If it isn't my old friends from Springfield, the Simpsons! What brings you folks to New Orleans?
Bart: Mardi Gras, man! When the Big Easy calls, you gotta accept the charges.
Lisa: Chief Wiggum, I can't wait to hear about all the exciting, sexy adventures you're sure to have against this colorful backdrop.
Wiggum: Well golly, I'd love to chat, but my son's been kidnapped. You haven't seen him, have you? Caucasian male, between the ages of six and ten, thinning hair.
Homer: [points to Ralph and Big Daddy] Over there.
Ralph Wiggum: Daddy, these rubber pants are hot.
Chief Wiggum: Wear 'em till you learn son, wear 'em till you learn.
Chief Wiggum: Ah, New Orleans. The Big Easy. Sweet Lady Gumbo. Old... Swampy.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 24th, 2007 Officer Lou (sniffs bag of something Laddie found on blind man): Marijuana.
Chief Wiggum: Well, I guess he didn't like you after all. He just smelled your narcotics. Book him, boys.
Office Eddie: Hold on, Chief. It might be medicinal.
blind man: Uh...yeah, m-medicinal. I...without it, I could, uh...go even...blinder. Right?
Cheif Wiggum: Bye, Lisa! If anything goes wrong, just dial 911! Uh, unless it's an emergency!
Lisa: G'bye, Chief! Enjoy Bob Saget!
Chief Wiggum: Heh, it's Bob Seger! (He looks at the tickets and frowns) Aw, crap!
Homer: [runs down the stairs after hearing gunshots] Hey, who shot my auto-dialer! [notices the police right behind him] I mean, Marge's auto-dialer [sheepishly shoves the bullet-riddled auto-dialer to the side].
Wiggum: See you in court, Simpson! [Wiggum hands Homer a summons] Oh, and, uh, bring that evidence with ya. Otherwise, I have no case and you go scott-free.
Wiggum: Oh, that's an auto-dialer. This bird was using it to pull a telemarketing scam. But instead, he's gonna rot in the slammer for the next twenty years. Bread and water, icy showers, guards whompin' your ass around the clock, and the only way out... is suicide.
• Rating 4.7 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 24th, 2007Chief Wiggum: (arresting the bear, and Barney the drunk) Book 'em Lou. One count of being a bear. And one count of being an accessory to being a bear.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 23rd, 2007 Homer: [ringing bell] Hear ye, hear ye! Ye olde town crier proclaimed crappy by all! Chooseth Homer Simpson, and he shalt rock thy world!
Chief Wiggum: My God, he is fabulous!
Principal Skinner: He's embiggened that role with his cromulent performance.