Chris Griffin Quotes (Page 4)
Lois Griffin: Peter, what are you doing? What is all this stuff?
Chris Griffin: Dad's starting his own TV station, but I'm not supposed to tell Mom because she's just gonna bitch him out.
Chris Griffin: Dad, I have had ENOUGH of you taking advantage of these people! For God's sake, the woman playing Elaine is a high priestess!
Tribal woman: You can't spare one square?
Peter Griffin: I don't have to take that from you, I'm the richest guy in town!
Chris Griffin: Dad, don't you see? This is a wonderful place, and you're just using it to escape from your problems at home!
Peter Griffin: What do you mean? Meg's right there.
Peter Griffin: Aw, Chris, buddy, thank god you're okay!
Chris Griffin: Hi, Dad!
Peter Griffin: Hey, this has been driving me crazy. Who was the chick on Remington Steele?
[Stewie picks up]
Stewie Griffin: Hello?
Chris Griffin: Stephanie Zimbalist?
Stewie Griffin: No, Stewie Griffin. Who's this?
Peter Griffin: Ah, thank you.
Lois Griffin: Chris, what are you doing down there?
Chris Griffin: Relax, Mom, i'm having a great time.
Stewie Griffin: You people knocked me off the modem!
Lois Griffin: When are you coming home?
Peter Griffin: How's the food in South America?
Stewie Griffin: Do the women there have exposed clitterati?
Chris Griffin: I'll be home in a month, after people have forgotten I'm a freshman.
Lois Griffin: Well, please take care of yourself, honey.
[Meg joins conversation]
Meg Griffin: Hey, guys, is everyone on the phone?
Chris Griffin: Oh, I got to go. [hangs up]
Lois Griffin: Something's in the oven. [hangs up]
Peter Griffin: I lost a shoe. [hangs up]
Stewie Griffin: No no, don't leave me on the phone with her!
Meg Griffin: Stewie?
Stewie Griffin: Heeey. How's school?
Meg Griffin: Hi, Stewie.
Stewie Griffin: Listen, I am swamped, but, uh, Mom has kept me up to date on everything you're doing and I think it's just great. Hanging up now.
Meg Griffin: Will you guys stop fighting, please?!
Chris Griffin: What's wrong with Meg?
Lois Griffin: Oh, nothing, it's just her time of the month.
Sheep: Not again!
Lois Griffin: I'm gonna become a model!
Peter Griffin: Hey, that's fantastic Lois, and I'll pleasure myself to your photos.
Chris Griffin: Me too!
Meg Griffin: Me too!
Peter Griffin: Oh, oh God, Meg, that's sick! That's your mother!
Meg Griffin: I'm just trying to fit in.
Peter Griffin: Get out! Get out of this house! [punches a hole in the wall] I said NOW!
Chris Griffin: No, Doug, I will not lift up her shirt!
Lois Griffin: Chris, we have company!
Peter Griffin: So, you , uh...you ever been with a woman?
Brooke Roberts: Um...no.
Lois Griffin: Peter!
Peter Griffin: What?
Lois Griffin: Okay, Peter, this is for the win. Say the word "what".
Peter Griffin: Oh...wow. Okay, um...this, uh, really separates the men from the boys. Uhhhh...
Lois Griffin: Peter, just say "what."
Peter Griffin: Ah, ah, ah, ah, now Lois, Lois, this is not a race. Um, okay I wanna say "who" ...uh, oh boy, uh... Fantastic Four... Fantastic Four, uh, steak, steak, steak, steak, uh, small amount of peas... um, is it "what"?
Lois Griffin: That's right. You win, Peter! You did it!
Peter Griffin: Oh my God, I won. I won!
Chris Griffin: My dad's smarter than your dad!
Meg Griffin: We have the same dad, idiot!
Chris Griffin: Yeah, but mine's smarter!
Peter Griffin: Hey, you still awake, Lois, honey?
Chris Griffin: Dad?
Peter Griffin: That's right, I'm your daddy. Shh-shh-shh-shh, don't talk, Lois, don't talk. Just let me do all the work. Yeah. Now feel my warm breath on the nape of your neck. My hands on your big, soft boobs, running down your big, man-like ch... holy crap, it's Chris! Uh, uh, so, uh...how you doin'? You do all your homework? Finish all your subjects?
Chris Griffin: Yes, sir.
Peter Griffin: Good. Just, uh, just checkin'. Have a good night, son. [feels his way out into the hallway and in another room] You still awake, honey?
Stewie Griffin: What the deuce?!
Lois Griffin: So, Chris, how's the latest with your little girlfriend?
Chris Griffin: Oh, I don't think Mrs. Lockhart likes me at all.
Lois Griffin: Mrs. Lockhart? Your teacher?
Peter Griffin [ignoring Lois and Chris]: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Lois, this is not my Batman glass.
Lois Griffin: Peter, are you listening? Chris has a crush on his teacher!
Meg Griffin: Ew, gross!
Stewie Griffin: You know what else is gross? [tries to force a fart but his right eye turns red] Ahh, broke a damn blood vessel!
Peter Griffin: Hey, hey Chris. When I was in school, you know what we used to do when a teacher gave us a bad grade?
Chris Griffin: What?
Peter Griffin: We'd egg his house. Come on, where's this bastard live?
Chris Griffin: I'll show you! That's his house!
[Peter and Chris laugh as they throw eggs at the door of the house until Brian opens it]
Brian Griffin: What the hell are you doing?
Peter Griffin: Is that him?
Chris Griffin: Yeah!
Peter Griffin: Oh, crap!
