Chris Griffin Quotes (Page 7)

Dysfunctional Family

Peter Griffin: Every guy you see with a big house or a fancy car or a shiny gold tooth is really just saying "Don't look at my penis." But you'll never have to worry about that.
Chris Griffin: Thanks, Dad! You're the best! You know, Dad, I just realized something. Your name's Peter.
Peter Griffin: Yeah. You're right, it is. Hehehehe. Peter.

  • Vote for this Quote! • July 5th, 2007


Chris Griffin: Is Dad mad at me?
Lois Griffin: Oh, of course not, honey. Now, go pick out a box of cereal and meet me at the "10 inches or less" line. I mean items!

  • Rating 5.0 / 5Vote for this Quote! • July 5th, 2007


Peter Griffin: What are you talkin' about? I'm better than him [Chris] at everything. You name it... sports, video games, even magic tricks.
Chris Griffin: Ha-ha. I got your nose.
Peter Griffin: Oh, yeah? [Peter reaches over and pulls Chris's entire face off his skull, leaving a flat flesh patch behind.] Well, I got your face. Hehehe.
Lois Griffin: Calm down, Chris. It's only a trick.

  • Rating 5.0 / 5Vote for this Quote! • July 5th, 2007


Peter Griffin [racing Chris]: First one to the marker where that Pakistani girl fell through the ice after coming to the States to get treatment for her severely burned face which she got when the man she refused to marry dumped sulphuric acid on her wins. [race] I win! Yes! In your face! In your face!
Chris Griffin: In my face! In my face!
Peter Griffin: [A zombie hand breaks through the ice and grabs onto his leg] Ahhh! No! Acid girl! It's acid girl! Ahhh!

  • Vote for this Quote! • July 5th, 2007


Peter Griffin: Don't worry, Lois, I'll set 'em straight. Just like I did with Chris.
[cutaway to a Whale Watching Boat, where Peter and Chris look out at the ocean as a whale breaches the surface.]
Chris Griffin: Dad, what's the blowhole for?
Peter Griffin: I'll tell you what it's not for, son. And when I do, you'll understand why I can never go back to Sea World.

  • Vote for this Quote! • July 5th, 2007



Chris Griffin: Can't we eat? I'm so hungry I could ride a horse.

  • Vote for this Quote! • July 5th, 2007


Chris: I don't think I like feet as much as you do.
Quagmire: Everybody likes feet.

  • Vote for this Quote! • February 11th, 2007


Chris: Hey, dad, look! I covered my back with honey and now the ants are taking me home.
Peter: He does the same thing at home with Velveeta and c**kroaches. If you turn the light on really fast they slam him right into the fridge.

  • Vote for this Quote! • February 11th, 2007


Brian: Ah, the old alma mater. I tell you, there's something magical about Brown.
Chris: Brown is the color of poo. Ha ha ha!
Brian: Yes. Yes it is

  • Vote for this Quote! • February 11th, 2007


Chris: Dad, I tried to go to school but this guy won't let me.
Peter: Oh yeah? Him and what army?
Chris: The U.S. Army.
Peter: Oh, that's a good army.

  • Vote for this Quote! • February 11th, 2007


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Total Quotes: 78