Chris Rock Quotes (Page 2)
White Cop: You the kid sellin' the cookies?
Chris: Right off the truck. How many do you want?
White Cop: None. You're under arrest.
Chris: I wanted to lie, but my mother always told me if I did, she'd slap me into another nationality!
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • October 1st, 2007 Chris: So... are we going to be learning how to break boards?
Mr. Jackson: You got somethin' against boards? Huh? What has a board ever done to you? Has a board ever embarrassed you in front of your woman? Has it lied for your phone number and dared you to do something about it? And did you just stand and watch her get into the board's car and drive home?
Chris: Uh, no.
Mr. Jackson: That's why we ain't learning how to break no damn boards.
Narrator: For free my father would let me learn almost anything.
Julius: What are you doing?
Chris: Taking "How to Knock Off a Liquor Store" lessons.
Julius: How much does it cost?
Chris: It's free.
Julius: Go ahead.
Maxine: Rochelle, can't you make a decent glass of iced tea?
Chris: Well, can't you leave her alone? It's iced tea! If you're thirsty, well then, you drink it! If you're not, don't!
Narrator: I would be joining my grandfather sooner than I expected.
Maxine: Are you gonna sit there and let that boy talk to me like that? [to Chris] Boy, don't you know I'll knock you into another family?
[Chris is sitting on a sofa with a white family]
White Mom: Who are you?
Chris: You don't wanna know.
Rochelle: Don't come home stupid.
Chris, Drew and Tonya: We won't!
Chris: [reading from a card] Roses are red, violets are blue, please go back to Africa and take your mother with you. Happy Valentine's Day.
Narrator: Another card like this and I might just go to Africa.
Rochelle: I know you're not out there sellin' drugs. I mean, you could be the kingpin of a Colombian drug cartel for all I know.
Chris: Momma, I'm not out there sellin' drugs.
Rochelle: How do I know that?
Narrator: My mother had one goal in life for her kids: Don't sell drugs. As long as they weren't doin' that, almost everything else was gonna be OK.
White Cop: Ma'am, your son shot the mayor.
Rochelle: Did he sell drugs?
White Cop: No.
Rochelle: Get in here, boy.
White Cop: Ma'am, your son killed the governor, kidnapped his daughter, robbed the President and ran a red light.
Rochelle: He didn't sell drugs, did he?
White Cop: No, ma'am.
Rochelle: Boy, get in here.