Cleveland Quotes (Page 2)
Cleveland Brown: It's Magic Hour with Dark Chocolate...
Glenn Quagmire: And the Rod!
Radio Voiceover: IN ROD WE TRUST! 97.1! Giggidy - Giggidy - Goo!
Joe Swanson: Peter, you're urinating unusually frequently.
Glenn Quagmire: Yeah, what gives?
Seamus: If it's gale-force peeing ye be doin' it could mean you've got barnacles on your prostate. Best have sick bay check below your decks.
Peter Griffin: Wait a minute. A-are you telling me I need a prostate exam?
Seamus: Aye. And soon before your rudder jams with flotsam and you're dropping anchor without an order from the captain. How are you liking all these nautical puns?
Joe Swanson: Cute.
Glenn Quagmire: Not bad.
Cleveland Brown: Somewhat entertaining.
Peter Griffin: Guys, I went to Dr. Hartman yesterday and... he did things to my fanny! [cries]
Cleveland Brown: Peter, It's okay.
Peter Griffin: It's not okay! You don't know what it's like!
Cleveland Brown: You're wrong. I too have felt the cold finger of injustice on my insidey parts!.
Peter Griffin: He... he did it to you, too?
Glenn Quagmire: I have something to say. Dr. Hartman violated me as well. I only went in there for a physical - guinea pig removal, but I turned out to be the guinea pig - for his sexual experimentation!
Joe Swanson: You guys are a bunch of queers.
Peter Griffin: What the hell is this?
Brian Griffin: Well, it looks like an intermission. A chance to stretch the old legs.
Peter Griffin: Aw, man, I peed in this cup for nothing?
Chris Griffin: Oh, Dad, I just kicked over your coke.
Stewie Griffin: I look atrocious. Did you see my ass? Oh, my God!
Meg Griffin: This stinks! I can't believe they cut my whole sex scene. It was so tastefully done!
Lois Griffin: Hey Peter, could you go to the concession stand? I want something to suck on.
Glenn Quagmire: Giggity-giggity?
Cleveland Brown: Hey, Quagmire, you think we got time to go outside and burn one?
Glenn Quagmire: Aw, you mean it's not over yet? How long is this thing?
Herbert: Chris, do you have a shower scene? Or do I have to keep dreamin'? Mmmmm...
Brian Griffin: Alright, we're back.
Stewie Griffin: Oh my God, speed up, speed up, speed up! [drives past Cleveland]
Cleveland Brown: OH THERE YOU ARE, YOU HONKY SUMBITCH! COME BACK HERE!
Peter Griffin: Yeah, but what if me and Lois do end up wanting another baby? It'll be too late.
Cleveland Brown: You could freeze some of your sperm at the sperm bank, just in case.
Peter Griffin: I don't know, Cleveland. It didn't work out so great that time I froze my nuts.
[cut away to Ice Age]
Peter Griffin: No! No! Bad squirrel! Those are MY nuts! My nuts! Ah... you're just a hungry little fella, aren't you? But those are MY nuts!
Cleveland Brown: Hey, Quagmire, is that a banana in your pocket or a erection in your pocket?
• Vote for this Quote! • July 18th, 2007 Joe Swanson: Oh, I can't do it [eat a steak], I'm...I'm so full.
Peter Griffin: Full of what, estrogen? C'mon, take the skirt off, you pansy!
Joe Swanson: Oh.
Glenn Quagmire: Let's go! Chow down, Mary Jane!
Joe Swanson: I said I can't.
Brian Griffin: Eat it! Eat the damn steak!
Peter Griffin: C'mon, what are you waiting for?
Joe Swanson: I can't. No, no, no...
Glenn Quagmire: Eat it, Joe, eat it!
Joe Swanson: I SAID I'M NOT HUNGRY! [takes out his gun and fires at the steak] WHERE IS IT NOW, HUH? WHERE IS IT NOW?!
Cleveland Brown: Easy, sailor, easy.
Peter Griffin: Put the gun down, Joe.
Brian Griffin: Yeah, nobody's judging you, man. It's cool.
Peter Griffin: A-Team role call. Face?
Glenn Quagmire: Here and handsome.
Peter Griffin: Murdock?
Joe Swanson: Here, and crazy!
Peter Griffin: B.A.?
Cleveland Brown: I pity the fool, but also suggest many ways that he may better himself.
Peter Griffin: Man, this is gonna be a fun day. Much better than that day I tried TAG Bodyspray for Sick Cats.
[cut to Peter in the store spraying some TAG on himself. Soon, 12 sick cats come up to him yowling]
Peter Griffin: Oh. Oh, oh God. Oh, God. Oh. Oh, no. Oh. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Eww. Eww. Eww. Oh, no, no, no. Oh. Oh, no, no, no, you're cute, you're cute; I-I don't wanna pet you though. Ah, ah... ah, all right. Ah. Oh, oh, oh, what are you gonna do? Oh, what are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? [the cat vomits] Ah! Oh, no. Okay. No, yeah, no, this-this spray is not for me.
Peter Griffin: Alright, fellas, we've been out here for months, and we all know men have certain needs. And, being that there's no women around, we're gonna have to have an orgy.
[scene cuts to Peter, Quagmire, Cleveland, and Joe stacked on each other, naked]
Peter Griffin: Uh... anybody horny?
Glenn Quagmire: No.
Cleveland Brown: No.
Joe Swanson: No.
Peter Griffin: Yeah, me neither. Uh, and, uh, whoever's toe that is, uh, I appreciate your enthusiasm, but, uh, I think you can stop.
Joe Swanson: Boy, I'm sure glad nobody's here to see this. [a cruise ship passes]
Captain: And if you look off the left side of the ship, you'll see a bunch of homosexuals. [in Spanish] A la izquierda del barco, podemos ver las "fanny bandits."
