Cosmo Kramer Quotes (Page 6)
Kramer: Hey Jerry, you ever wear silk underwear?
Jerry: No.
Kramer: Put that on the top of your list.
Jerry: No, not for me. A little too delightful.
George: Well, what about the toe? What happened to the toe?
Kramer: Well! I am happy to say that the little guy is back in place at the end of the line.
George: You did all this... for a pinky toe?
Kramer: Well, it's a valuable appendage.
Kramer: Yeah, yeah, then all of a sudden, this guy pulls out a gun. Well, I knew any delay is gonna cost her her pinky toe, so I got out of the seat and I started walking towards him. He says, "Where do you think you're going, Cracker Jack?" I said, "Well, I got a little prize for ya, buddy" - I knocked him out cold!
George: How could you do that?!
Kramer: Then everybody is screamin,' because the driver, he's passed out from all the commotion...the bus is out of control! So, I grab him by the collar, I take him out of the seat, I get behind the wheel and now I'm drivin' the bus.
George: You're Batman.
Kramer: Yeah. Yeah, I am Batman. Then the mugger, he comes to, and he starts chokin' me! So I'm fightin' him off with one hand and I kept drivin' the bus with the other, y'know? Then I managed to open up the door, and I kicked him out the door with my foot, you know, at the next stop.
Jerry: You kept makin' all the stops?
Kramer: Well, people kept ringin' the bell!
Kramer: Well, after he heckled Toby, she got so upset, she ran out of the building and a street sweeper ran over her foot and severed her pinky toe.
George: That's unbelievable!
Kramer: Yeah! Then after the ambulance left, I found the toe! So I put it in a Cracker Jack box, filled it with ice, and took off for the hospital.
George: You ran?
Kramer: No, I jumped on the bus. I told the driver, "I got a toe here, buddy - step on it."
George: Holy cow!
Kramer: "My wife has an inner ear infection."
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • June 28th, 2007 Kramer: "Hey Elaine, what do you say, if neither of us is married in 10 years, we get hitched?"
Elaine: "Make it 50."
Kramer: "We're engaged!"
Mickey: How long you going to be away for, daddy?
Kramer: [tries to act professional] I'm not really going away. I told you I'd be back every other weekend.
Mickey: [no expressions] Don't go daddy. Don't...go..
Kramer: Now listen Porter, you know your mother and I love you very much. But sometimes people fall out of love. Now give me a big hug.
Kramer: Well, what did you do next?
George: Then from out of nowhere a huge tidal wave lifted. Tossed like a cork, I found myself on top of him face to face with the blow-hole. I could barely see from all of the waves crashing down on top of me but I knew something was there, so I reached my hand in and pulled out the obstruction!
[George pulls out a golf ball]
Kramer: Is that a Titleist? A hole in one, eh?
Kramer: Right now there are six-hundred Titleists that I got at the driving range in the trunk of my car. Why don't we drive out to Rockaway and hit them... into the ocean! Now picture this.... we find a nice sweet spot between the dunes, we take out our drivers, we tee up and that ball goes sailing up into the sky holds there for a moment and then.... plunk!
• Vote for this Quote! • June 28th, 2007 Kramer: Who wants to have some fun?!
Jerry: I do.
George: I do.
Kramer: Are you just sayin' you want to have fun or do you really want to have fun?
Jerry: I really wanna have some fun.
George: I'm just sayin' I wanna have some fun.
