Dwight Schrute Quotes (Page 10)
Dwight: [crying] The Sebring is cool! The Sebring is so cool! Please don't fire me Michael, I'll do anything!
• Vote for this Quote! • June 28th, 2007 Dwight: (referring to Jerome Bettis) Why do they call him "The Bus"?
Michael: Because he's afraid to fly.
Michael: [looking at the hotel bed under a black light] Whoa, what are all those stains?
Dwight: Blood, urine, or semen.
Michael: Oh god, I hope it's urine.
Michael: I need to know who else is gay. I don't want to offend anyone else.
Dwight: You could assume everyone is, and not say anything offensive.
Michael: Yeah. I'm sure everyone would appreciate me treating them like they were gay.
Dwight: Jim told me you can buy gaydar online.
Michael: That's ridiculous.
Dwight: Probably. He didn't tell the truth a lot.
(pause)
Michael: Let's call him and get the website.
Dwight: Definitely.
Dwight: Codename Re/Max is here. No sign of Lan Jevinson.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 27th, 2007 Jim: Ever since I was a little kid, like eight or nine, I could sort of control things with my mind.
Dwight: I don't believe you, continue.
Dwight: Michael said, "We must deceive them, so as not to hurt them, and in that way, we honor them."
• Rating 4.8 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • June 27th, 2007 Pam: It's a nice tux.
Dwight: I know. It belonged to my grandfather. He was buried in it, so... family heirloom.
Dwight: I never smile if I can help it. Showing one's teeth is a submission signal in primates. When someone smiles at me, all I see is a chimpanzee begging for its life.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 27th, 2007
