Dwight Schrute Quotes (Page 12)
Dwight: It is 11:23 exactly, the exact moment you emerged from your mother's vaginal canal.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 27th, 2007Dwight: (After he didn't tip the sub man) Why tip someone for a job I'm capable of doing myself? I can deliver food. I can drive a taxi. I can, and do, cut my own hair. I did however, tip my urologist, because I am unable to pulverize my own kidney stones.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 27th, 2007Dwight: [to Toby's daughter] Hello, tiny one. YOU ARE THE FUTURE!
• Vote for this Quote! • June 27th, 2007Dwight: When I was in the 6th grade, I was a finalist in our school spelling bee. It was me against Raj Patel. And I mispelled, in front of the entire school, the word 'failure'.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 27th, 2007Dwight: You are so lucky you don't have this problem Jim. What was the ninth place prize again, a loaf of bread?
• Vote for this Quote! • June 27th, 2007 Jim: Dwight, if you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?
Dwight: I can travel anywhere, except Cuba, and I will travel to New Zealand and walk the Lord of the Rings trail to Mordor and I will hike Mount Doom.
Dwight's Speech: BLOOD ALONE MOVES THE WHEELS OF HISTORY! [pause] Have you ever asked yourselves in an hour of meditation - which everyone finds through out the day - how long we have been striving for greatness? [bangs fists] Not only the years we've been at war – the war of work – but from the moment as a child, when we realize the world could be conquered. It has been a lifetime struggle [bangs fists again] a never-ending fight, I say to you [bangs again] and you will understand that it is a privilege to fight. WE ARE WARRIORS! [mild applause] Salesmen of north-eastern Pennsylvania, I ask you once more rise and be worthy of this historical hour. [even bigger applause as Dwight gives a maniacal sounding laugh] No revolution is worth anything unless it can defend itself. Some people will tell you salesman is a bad word. They’ll conjure up images of used car dealers, and door to door charlatans. This is our duty to change their perception. I say, salesman – and women – of the world... unite! We must never acquiesce, for it is together... TOGETHER THAT WE PREVAIL. WE MUST NEVER CEDE CONTROL OF THE MOTHERLAND...
Audience: ...FOR IT IS TOGETHER THAT WE PREVAIL!
[thunderous applause]
Dwight: It's me. I'm the bobblehead!
• Vote for this Quote! • June 27th, 2007 Dwight: What's this on my desk?
Jim: It's a box.
Dwight: But who left it here...and to what purpose?
Dwight: Women are like wolves. If you want a wolf, you have to trap it. Snare it. Then to keep it happy, you have to tame it. Feed it, care for it. Lovingly. The way an animal deserves. And my animal deserves a lot of loving.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 27th, 2007
