Dwight Schrute Quotes (Page 15)
Dwight: Yes I have acted before. I was in a production of "Oklahoma!" in the 7th grade. I played the part of Mutey the Mailman. They had too many kids so they made up roles like that. I was good.
• Rating 4.3 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • June 25th, 2007 Michael: C'mon, hit me...
Jim: I can't. I just got a manicure.
Michael: Oh, queer! [looks at camera] ...eye. Queer eye! Good show, important show.
Jim: Just have Dwight punch you.
Michael: Well, that would be kind of worthless because I know a ton of 14-year-old girls who could kick his ass.
Jim: You know a ton of 14-year-old girls?
Dwight: What belt are they?
Dwight: I come from a long line of fighters. My maternal grandfather was the toughest guy I ever knew. World War Two veteran. Killed twenty men then spent the rest of the war in an Allied prison camp. My father...battled blood pressure and obesity all his life. Different kind of fight.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • June 25th, 2007 Michael: Look, Dwight here is a wuss. When we rented "Armageddon", he cried at the end of it.
Dwight: Michael, I told you! It was because it was New Year's Eve and it started to snow at exactly midnight!
Michael: [As Dwight crying] "Oh, are they really gonna leave Bruce Willis on the asteroid? Boo-hoo!"
Dwight: [indicating his purple belt] This is not a toy, this is a message to the entire office so that everyone can see I can physically dominate them.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 25th, 2007 Phyllis: [to Dwight in costume] Are you a monk?
Dwight: I'm a Sith lord!!
Dwight: I hope the war goes on forever and Ryan gets drafted. I'm sorry, only part of me meant that...he'd probably end up a hero there anyway.
• Vote for this Quote! • April 19th, 2007Dwight: Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Studebaker, Television, North Korea, South Korea, Marilyn Monroe. Ryan started the fire!
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • April 19th, 2007Dwight: Everyone. OK, I have an announcement. Apparently in business school they don’t teach you how to operate a toaster oven. Because some smart, sexy temp left his cheese pita on "oven" instead of timing it for the toaster thing. [holds up burnt pita and laughs maniacally]
• Vote for this Quote! • April 19th, 2007 Dwight: FIRE! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Phyllis: You say that every week.
Dwight: DO YOU WANT TO DIE?!
Oscar: Relax.
Dwight: HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A BURN VICTIM!?