Dwight Schrute Quotes (Page 17)

Dwight Schrute

Dwight: Who wrote this little number down? Inverted penis
[long pause]
Meredith: Could you take that to mean vagina? Because I want that covered.
Dwight: I thought you had your vagina removed during your hysterectomy.
Meredith: A uterus is different from a vagina. I still have a vagina.

  • Vote for this Quote! • April 18th, 2007


Dwight: OK, first let's go over some parameters. How many people can I fire?
Michael: Uh, none. You're picking a healthcare plan.

  • Vote for this Quote! • April 18th, 2007


Dwight: Through concentration, I can raise and lower my cholesterol at will.
Pam: Why would you want to raise your cholesterol?
Dwight: So I can lower it.

  • Vote for this Quote! • April 18th, 2007


Dwight: The problem, Jim, is that people who are really suffering from a medical condition won't receive the care they need because someone in this office is coming up with ridiculous stuff. Count Choculitis....Why did you write that down, Jim? Is it because you know I love Count Chocula?

  • Vote for this Quote! • April 18th, 2007


Dwight: In the wild, there is no health care. In the wild, health care is, 'Ow, I hurt my leg. I can't run. A lion eats me. I'm dead.' Well, I'm not dead. I'm the lion. You're dead.

  • Vote for this Quote! • April 18th, 2007



Dwight [Reading suggestions for health-care coverage]: Who thought of this one? Anal fissures.
Kevin: That's a real thing.
Dwight: Yeah, but no one here has it.
Kevin: [quietly] Someone has it.

  • Vote for this Quote! • April 18th, 2007


Pam: [during a role-playing exercise] Okay, if I have to do this, based on stereotypes that are totally untrue, that I do not agree with, you would maybe..not be a very good driver.
Dwight:[role playing as an Asian] Aw, man! I'm a woman?

  • Vote for this Quote! • April 14th, 2007


« Previous
1 ... 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17

Total Quotes: 167