Dwight Schrute Quotes (Page 5)

Dwight Schrute Photo

Dwight: Oh you know that line on the top of the shrimp? That's feces.

  • Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007


Michael: Pam, would you smell my breath?
Pam: No, no.
Dwight: Let me smell.
[Dwight puts his face very close to Michael's mouth, who exhales]
Dwight: Good, not great.

  • Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007


Dwight: I dont have much experience with vampires. I have hunted werewolves. I shot one once, but by the time i got to it, it had turned back into my neighbors dog.

  • Rating 5.0 / 5Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007


Dwight: If a vampire bat was in the U.S., it would make sense for it to come to a “-sylvania.” Like Pennsylvania.

  • Rating 4.3 / 5Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007


Dwight: Whenever I'm about to do something, I think, "Would an idiot do that?" And if they would, I do not do that thing.

  • Rating 5.0 / 5Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007



Dwight: I saw “Wedding Crashers” accidentally. I bought a ticket for “Grizzly Man” and went into the wrong theater. After an hour, I figured I was in the wrong theater, but I kept waiting. Cause that’s the thing about bear attacks…they come when you least expect it.

  • Rating 5.0 / 5Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007


Dwight: The Schrutes have their own traditions. We usually marry standing in our own graves. Makes the funerals very romantic, but the weddings are a bleak affair.

  • Rating 5.0 / 5Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007


Michael: Guys! Beef: it's what's for dinner! Who wants some man meat?
Dwight: I do! I want some man meat!
Jim: Michael, Dwight would like your man meat.
Michael: Well then, my man meat he shall have.

  • Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007


Dwight: I don't care what Jim says, that is not the real Ben Franklin. I am 99% sure.

  • Rating 5.0 / 5Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007


Michael: So maybe you should come back. You should come back. Please.
Dwight: I don't want to do your laundry anymore.
Michael: We can talk about that.

  • Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007


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Total Quotes: 167