Dwight Schrute Quotes (Page 7)
Dwight: He was already dead, and we Schrutes use every part of the goose. The meat has a delicious smoky rich flavor. Plus, you can use the molten goose grease and save it in the refrigerator, thus saving you a trip to the store for a can of expensive goose grease.
Jim: Wow. Win-win.
Dwight: Exactly, thank you, Jim.
Phyllis: I like goose. If it's already dead, is it so crazy if we eat it?
Creed: That's crazy. It's crazy.
Dwight: [bringing in a dead goose] I accidentally ran over it. It's a Christmas miracle!
• Vote for this Quote! • June 28th, 2007Dwight: I am greatly concerned about having a convict in the office. And I do not care if that convict is white, black, Asian, German, or some kind of halfsy. I do not like criminals.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 28th, 2007 Dwight: Hello. I don't believe we've been introduced. Dwight Schrute, Assistant Regional Manager.
Andy: Andy Bernard, Regional Director in charge of sales.
Dwight: So you'll be reporting to me then.
Andy: On the contrary.
Dwight: My title has "manager" in it.
Andy: And I'm a director. Which on a film set, is the highest title there is. Do you know anything about film?
Dwight: I know everything about film. I've seen over 240 of them.
Andy: Congratulations.
Dwight: The Japanese camp guards of World War Two always chose one man to kill whenever a batch of new prisoners arrived. I always wondered how they chose the man who was to die. I think I would have been good at choosing the person.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 28th, 2007 Dwight: What was your mile time?
Toby: About seven.
Dwight: I could beat that on a skateboard.
Toby: Well, that has wheels.
Dwight: Yeah, well, my feet don't. And I could still crush that time.
Michael: [waiting outside the CFO's house with Dwight] What are we still doing here? It's over. Let's go home, get the car. [Dwight gets up and picks up his cell phone] Ohhh, this was such a stupid idea. This was so stupid. [cries] I'm such a stupid idiot. I let everybody down. Everybody hates me. I lost everybody's jobs. Nobody likes me anymore!
Dwight: OH MY GOD!
Michael: What?
Dwight: Stamford is closed! Michael, we're not closed! Stamford is closed!
Michael: Stamford is closed?! WE DID IT! WE DID IT! [Michael and Dwight celebrate and bump chests] How did we do it?
Dwight: I don't...have no idea.
Jim: I don’t have a ton of contact with the Scranton branch, but before I left, I took a box of Dwight’s stationery, so from time to time I send Dwight faxes. From himself. From the future. [reading fax] "Dwight, at 8am today, someone poisons the coffee. Do not drink the coffee. More instructions will follow. Cordially, Future Dwight."
[Dwight receives the fax and reads it. He spots Stanley about to drink a cup of coffee]
Dwight: Noooooooooo! [smacks the cup out of Stanley's hands] You'll thank me later.
Dwight: When you become close with someone, you develop a kind of sixth sense. You can read their moods like a book. And right now, the title of Michael's book is.. "Something Weird Is Going On...colon...What Did Jan Say? The Michael Scott Story...by Michael Scott. With Dwight Schrute."
• Vote for this Quote! • June 28th, 2007 Dwight: [interrupting Michael talking about M. Night Shamaylan] I see dead people.
Michael: Okay! Spoiler alert!
Dwight: He was dead the whole time.
Michael: Just stop it!
