Dwight Schrute Quotes (Page 9)
Dwight: [after Michael is upset by him trying to fit a dead bird in an aluminum can] I'm sorry! I grew up on a farm! We killed a pig whenever we wanted bacon! And when my grandfather died, we reburied him in an old oil drum! [pause] It would have fit, if he had just given me another minute!
• Vote for this Quote! • June 28th, 2007 Pam: If you wanna do something for the funeral...
Dwight: Yes, please.
Pam: Maybe you could play a song on your recorder.
Dwight: Excellent.
Pam: Do you have it with you?
Dwight: Always.
Dwight: When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was having twins. When they did another ultrasound a few weeks later, they discovered, that I had resorbed the other fetus. Do I regret this? No, I believe his tissue has made me stronger. I now have the strength of a grown man and a little baby.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • June 28th, 2007 Dwight: And how big do you want this robot?
Michael: Lifesize.
Dwight: Mmm, no. Better make it two-thirds. Easier to stop if it turns on us.
Dwight: [to Angela] If my head ever comes off, I would like you to put it on ice.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 28th, 2007Dwight: When I die. I want to be frozen. And if they have to freeze me in pieces, so be it. I will wake up stronger than ever, because I will have used that time, to figure out exactly why I died. And what moves I could have used to defend myself better now that I know what hold he had me in.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 28th, 2007 Michael: I shall now be serving Dwight's job as Assistant Regional Manager.
Dwight: That's Assistant to the Regional Manager.
Dwight: Ever since Michael dumped Jan for Carol, Jan’s been bitching out on him. Reject a woman, and she will never let it go. One of the many defects of their kind. Also, weak arms.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 28th, 2007 Michael: Hey, I thought you weren't supposed to eat anything for a couple hours after you've had a crown put it?
Dwight: ...They have this new kind of quick-drying bonding.
Michael: Oh? sounds like a good dentist.
Dwight: Yea...
Michael: What's his name?
Dwight: [long pause] Crentist.
Michael: Your dentist's name is Crentist...huh. Sounds a lot like dentist.
Dwight: Maybe that's why he became a dentist?
Michael:[After telling Dwight he's the standing manager] Well, I guess we should go tell the troops!
Dwight: When I'm ready, Mike.
