Edie Britt Quotes
Mike: "What are you trying to say?"
Edie: "Well, maybe we should just take a break. You know, date other people."
Mike: "You're telling me this on the day I'm put in a men's prison?"
Edie: "Well, I said the timing was bad. I am sorry. I... I really am. I just can't do this."
Edie: "I don't know if you picked up on this, Mike, but...I haven't been happy."
Mike: "No, I didn't pick up on it."
Edie: "Well, I wanted to tell you this weeks ago, and I wish that I had, because now I know you're gonna think that I'm breaking up with you over this whole blood on the ax thing."
Mike: "Wrench."
Edie: "Whatever."
Edie: "Let's try to be positive, people. Fabulous location. Just walking distance to all sorts of fun shops. "
Bree: "Right, from here I can see a bail bondsman and an adult bookshop."
Edie: "What do you expect in your price range? Tara?"
Susan: "Are you crazy? If we don't do something, those two could end up having sex!"
Edie: "Could?"
Susan: "Oh, my God. You don't..."
Edie: "Let me put it this way. I got a box of condoms in my dresser. 11 are gone. I can only account for eight of 'em."
Susan: "No, no, no, no! No, no, this, this is not how this ends. No, evil does not triumph over good."
Edie: "That's how you see me?"
Susan: "Damn straight! You lie, you cheat, you scheme! You ruin peoples' relationships! I mean, how do you sleep at night?"
Edie: "Soon with Mike on top of me, if you know what I mean."
Susan: "See? Evil! Evil! "
Edie: "Oh, wait. You're 18, right?"
Austin: "Well, that's what my ID says."
Edie: "Yeah, mine too."
Susan: "Uh, this is a little awkward and I apologize in advance for how this is gonna sound, but um... by any chance, did you burn down my house?"
Edie: "Yes."
Susan: "What?"
Edie: "Yes, I burned down your house, you sleazy little whore."
Bree: "Honey, you’ve got to eat something."
Gabrielle: "I don’t have an appetite. If fact, this is all going to go to waste. You guys should take something."
Lynette: "No, no, you should keep it."
Edie: "I’ll take a couple. What? Karl dumped me, so I’m alone. Food fills the void."
Lynette: "Karl broke up with Edie."
Susan: "Oh my god!"
Bree: "Yeah, apparently he was seeing someone."
Susan: "Really? Did he say who is was?"
Edie: "I know who she is. She’s a man-eating, scum-sucking ho bag!"
Bree: "No, he did not say."
Susan: "I was married to Karl, and I used to try to surprise him, and he would always, always, always say 'No, Susan. Don't surprise me. I don't like it.'"
Edie: "Whatever. I'm doing it, so keep your trap shut. Now if you'll excuse me, I've gotta go and buy a wedding dress. Oh, and by the way, I'll be wearing white, so that'll be a surprise for everybody."