Elliot Reid Quotes
Todd::[to carla] I Remember I wanted to come in here to say something. Oh yeah, great vagina.
Turk:: TODD!
Carla:: Turk, he was only giving a compliment to Ms. Prescilla. Thank you Todd [Elliot stares at Carla in confusion] Oh, I named it after my high school art teacher.
Elliot::Oh my gosh me too! Mr. Hubbard, [deepens voice] It's nice to see you.
Elliot: Okay, guess what flavor baby food this is?
Keith: Cab driver feet?
Jordan: You know, one of the reasons I divorced Perry was because of his last name.
Elliot: You don't like Cox?
Jordan: Actually, I love Cox.
Todd: [walks up, knocks on table] Greatest conversation ever.
Jordan: See, that's the problem.
Todd: [Overhears: "This sausage is huge!"] Excuse me ladies, I'm needed elsewhere.
Elliot: J.D. I don't want to do this! Can't we just go home and put our PJ's on and watch Grey's Anatomy?
J.D.: Oh, I do love that show. It's like they've been watching our lives, and then just put it on TV!
Dr. Cox: Hate to burst your bubble there, Barbie, but your endocrinology fellowship lasted all of five days. Granted, to you, five days may seem like an eternity seeing as it's roughly five times as long as any of your white, pasty relationships have lasted, but trust me, it hardly makes you an expert.
Elliot: Oh, really? Because you never went to assface school but you seem to be an expert at that.
Elliot: With all due respect, Dr. Cox, maybe I should talk to her.
Dr. Cox: With no due respect at all, why?
Elliot:Well she's a teenage girl, that's an awkward time. You know, your breasts are growing, not always symmetrically. Um, you like boys. Maybe one gives you a ride home, you think something's gonna happen but it doesn't and that just makes it official that you're a lop-sided freak. Happy ending though: lefty caught up in college.
Dr. Cox: Barbie! I have a finite amount of brain space and your inspiring story of the little breast who couldn't just pushed out my memory of the 1980 Olympic Hockey team's victory at Lake Placid. The Miracle on Ice, gone! Listen to me carefully, I know all about what it's like to be a teenage girl, wah wah wah. Course, I never had to try to convince my mother that I sure would have liked a navel ring.
Elliot: Oh well we were all going to Jamaica and my friend Susan...
[Cox immitates a trash compactor with his hands.]
Dr. Cox: Brain space.
Turk: You know Elliot, you are eventually going to have to take off your sock.
Elliot: If I do, then from now on when one of you guys look at me all you're going to think of me as giant gross foot. It's like that security guard with the hook for the hand. All everybody thinks when they look at him is, big giant afro.
Carla: I do think that.
J.D.: What is wrong with you? Is it because I called you "Smelliot"? Because I can't believe you haven't heard that before.
Elliot: J.D., I don't care if you call me that.
J.D. [announcing]: Hey, everybody! She's cool with "Smelliot"!
The Todd: Oh! So he can call you "Smelliot", but I'm not allowed to call you "Vagina Face"?
Elliot: Not the same, Todd!
The Todd [stormig off]: Hmph!
Elliot: [Upon applying red lipstick in preparation for a date] Dr. Cox, does this shade of red make me look like a clown?
Dr. Cox: No... Barbie no. It makes you look like a prostitute that caters exclusively to clowns.
Elliot: Oh! Ah... that was my mistake, I keep forgetting that you're a horrible, horrible person.
Nurse Roberts: You'll be okay, Marshmallow.
Elliot: Laverne, do you call me "Marshmallow" because I'm soft and easily flattened?
Nurse Roberts: Well, yeah.... But, if it makes you feel any better, it's also because you're very white.