Elliot Reid Quotes (Page 2)
Elliot: [looking at J.D.'s wrists, which are burned from kinky sex the night before] Looks like rope burn to me.
J.D.: Oh, no, this is a -- a rash from my new watch. They didn't tell me the band was made out of ... cat.
Elliot: I'm dating a Murse!
J.D: Well it's better than dating a mectretary or a manicurist...oh wait that works.
Elliot: Well, only you guys know, and Nurse Roberts.... Well she not that much of a gossip... is she?
Carla and J.D: Nah.
Nurse Roberts: Dr Reid, Nurse Paul, Dr Reid, Nurse Paul, DR REID, NURSE PAUL, Dr Reid, Nurse Paul, Dr Reid, Nurse Paul, [to Dr. Cox] Dr Reid, Nurse Paul, dating!
Dr. Cox: Giant, who cares?
J.D.:(Thinking): And then she said something, every man is dying to hear...
Elliot : We can be sex buddies...
Elliot: My life is a mess!
J.D.: At least you're pretty.
Elliot: Yeah, well, pretty don't pay the rent!
Carla: It does for my sister.
Elliot: Oh, my God, your sister's a prostitute!?
Carla: She's a model. Come on, Elliot, we talked about thinking before we speak.
Elliot: Listen, Carla, I can't even pretend that I can give you tips on intercourse....
Carla: I got one for you: stop calling it that.
Elliot: My therapist thinks my trouble in bed stems from a basic fear of intimacy. But I just think it's just because any type of repetitive motion makes me nauseous. Oh, and since I was a little kid, I've always had nightmares about being crushed.
Carla: That poor shrink.
Elliot: What's wrong?
Carla: It's personal.
Elliot: Why won't you ever open up to me? I came to you when I thought I had a broken tailbone and it was just a really bad pimple!
Carla: It's a sex thing, okay?
Elliot: You mean like a gender issue or like intercourse? Because I'm book-smart on both!
Elliot: You know I kinda had a date last night?
J.D.: Really?
Elliot: Yeah a guy on the bus fell asleep on me and drooled on my shoulder
J.D.: You slut!
Elliot: On the one hand, I know Dr. Kelso doesn't mean anything by it. And, okay, maybe I am kind of a sweetheart...
Dr. Cox: I'm sleeping.
Elliot: On the other hand, it just sounds so demeaning! You know?
Dr. Cox: Mother of God, you're not listening to a word I'm saying, are you?
Elliot: I mean, it's not like he's my grandpa or anything. Anyway, J.D. always tells me how you've helped him out...
Dr. Cox: Well, he obviously hasn't told you about my ear-flicking policy, has he. Look! This whole "groovy guidance counselor" thing you people seem to have working is a total fantasy. I'm not that guy, you can go and ask anybody. Now, you've got to leave me alone, or I'll punish you.
Elliot: Our shifts keep overlapping on Friday nights.
J.D.: It's the closest thing I've had to a date, recently.
Elliot: Well, I had a great time tonight.
J.D.: Oh, yeah, me too. So... can I page you?
Elliot: You better. And don't do the whole two-day waiting thing.
J.D.: Oh, baby, I don't play by the rules.
Eliot: The first few weeks here have been so hard for me, mentally, physically, emotionally. It's like math camp all over again. Not that I've ever been to math camp - it's just an expression.
J.D.: I use it all the time.
