Eric Cartman Quotes
Eric Cartman: "Drugs are bad because if you do drugs you're a hippie and hippies suck."
• Rating 4.6 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • September 11th, 2007"If there's one thing I've learned, it's that the only way to fight hate....is with more hate!!!"
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • September 11th, 2007 Cartman: [jumps off his skateboard] YES! I did it! [tosses his helmet away] I jumped over the homeless! [turns around] YES!
Kenny: (Yehes!)
Stan: That was a sweet idea, Kyle. [smiles]
Kyle: Goddamnit, that wasn't my idea!
Cartman: Do you know what this is? This is apple juice it gives me super bad farts.
• Rating 4.2 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • September 11th, 2007 Cartman: Alright, Kenny, you know what has to happen...SOCK BATH! Everyone wash Kenny with the soap and dry him off with the socks! [students attack Kenny]
Kenny: [unmuffled] NO! NO, NOT THE SOCKS! NO! NO!
Cartman: We all know the only person who can spread the lice here is Kenny and the Jew.
Kenny: What? F**k you!
Mrs. Garrison: Alright students, let's take our seats. Apparently we have a little problem here at the school, which we need to talk about.
Cartman: Ah, yes. [points to Kyle] You mean the Jew problem. Good, good. I'm glad we're going to finally do something about it.
Cartman: (Crying, stumbles into the kitchen, holding onto a doorframe for support) Moommmmm...
Mom: Yes, poonchkins?
Cartman:(between sniffles) Last night.. when.. Butters.. came to spend the night.. I wanted to take a picture of him.. you know.. for his mom to have.. and I tripped, and my mouth landed right on his penis - and at that moment.. i thought of something really funny.. and kinda started to smile a little bit.. and kinda.. give a little thumbs up.. and thats when he took the pictureee.....
Kyle:If you put somebody's weiner in your mouth, that makes you gay, stupid!
Cartman: Nuh-uh!
Kyle: Yeah-huh!
Cartman: Kenny, that doesn't make me gay, huh?
Kenny: He he, that makes you very f**king gay!
Cartman: I was asleep, and this person just ... puts his penis in my mouth without me knowing! And took the picture!
Detective Yates: ...I see.
Cartman: Yes. Now it may appear in the picture that I'm actually looking at the camera lens smiling, ... with the penis in my mouth. And giving a thumbs up. But I assure you, I was fast asleep!