Eric Cartman Quotes (Page 10)
Kyle: You guys! I have awesome news!
Cartman: You have AIDS?
Cartman: The poor kid passes it to the Jew, the Jew shoots. He misses! Proving once and for all that Jews cannot play hockey!
Kyle: Shut up Cartman! Your body is bigger than the goal!
Cartman: No, I just have a sweet hockey body.
Cartman: Oh, f**k Jesus! [Faith + 1's fans gasp; a woman screams]
Butters: Eric, I'm pretty sure you shouldn't say the "F" word about Jesus.
Token: Yeah, you're gonna hurt the band.
Cartman: [singing]
Don't ever leave me, Jesus. I couldn't stand to see you go
My heart would simply snap, my Lord, if you walked on out that door
I promise I'll be good to you, and keep you warm at night
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, why don't we just… shut off the lights
Cartman: Butters, remind me later to cut your balls off.
• Vote for this Quote! • September 4th, 2007 Cartman: Token, how many times do we have to go through this? You're black, you can play bass.
Token: I'm gettin' sick of your stereotypes.
Cartman: Be as sick as you want, just gimme a goddamn bass line.
Token: (Playng a bass melody) Goddammit.
Stan: You don't know anything about Christianity, Cartman!
Cartman: I know enough to exploit it.
Cartman, Stan, Kenny: We're here! We're not queer! But we're close! Get used to it!
• Vote for this Quote! • September 4th, 2007 Mr. Garrison:Eric, you're not half bi.
Cartman: I'm like a quarter bi. My grandpa was bi so that makes me a quarter bi.
Mr. Garrison: WHAT?!?
Cartman: Look guys. A lot of the kids in school are talking and they are spreading rumors that we're not metro-sexuals because we hang out with Kyle.
Stan: Well what can we do about it?
Cartman: We have no choice guys. We're just going to have to kill Kyle.
