Eric Cartman Quotes (Page 7)
Stan: Goddamn, that took a long time.
Kyle: It would have been faster if Cartman hadn't slashed the tires.
Cartman: I DID NOT. I wanna close Wall-Mart just as much as you guys do.
Cartman: Whoa, pixie sticks, 29 cents!
[Cartman slips into a trance.]
Cartman: Wall-Mart? are you speaking to me?…My friends…Trying to hurt you again?…Yes Wall-Mart, I understand…
Cartman: Hel-lo ma'am. We're going around town and offering snow-shoveling service. Would you like your driveway and sidewalk shoveled for eight thousand dollars?
Woman: Oh well, I certainly could use some little snow-shovelers, but eight thousand dollars seems a little steep. How about ten dollars?
Cartman: Ooh, ouch, ma'am, please, let go of that tight grip you have on my balls! Ten dollars, you're breaking my balls, ma'am!
Cartman: Mr Jefferson, I wish I could be around you all the time. You're awesome.
Mr. Jefferson: I think you're awesome too, Cartman.
Cartman: Yeah?
Mr. Jefferson: Yeah.
Cartman: Yeah?
Mr. Jefferson: Yeah.
Cartman: Yeah? (they move in for a kiss)
Stan: (waking up) AAAAGGGGHHHH!! (looks round to see Cartman asleep and facing the ceiling and not Mr. Jefferson)
Mr. Jefferson: (opens his eyes) What's the matter, Stan? You have a bad dream?
Stan: Yeah, a REALLY bad dream. (shuts his eyes) Oh Jesus...
Cartman: Well excuse my French, Mrs. Marsh, but you can suck on my fat hairy balls!
• Vote for this Quote! • September 7th, 2007Cartman: Aw, aw, no, come on, people, we're so close to completing my final solution!
• Vote for this Quote! • September 6th, 2007 Cartman: Okay, now when I say, "Es ist Zeit für Rache!" you respond, "Wir müssen die Juden ausrotten!"
Woman: What does that mean?
Man: Oh, I think it's Aramaic, just like in the movie!
Cartman: Töten Sie die Juden! Wir können nicht stillstehen bis sie alle tot sind! [Kill all the Jews! We cannot stand still 'till all are dead!] Okay, I'm ready. I'm ready to do thy bidding, Mel Gibson.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • September 6th, 2007 Kyle: People don't hate the Jews!
Cartman: Really? Three hundred million domestic box-office, Kyle. The top-grossing film of all time, Kyle. Those numbers don't lie. If you're not scared of The Passion then go see it. Go see it and tell me I'm wrong. Mel Gibson, Kyle. Mel Gibson.
Cartman: This is why you can't bring Jews on away missions! They don't play along!
• Vote for this Quote! • September 6th, 2007
