Eric Cartman Quotes (Page 8)

Chef and Crew

Cartman: [Pretending he's retarded] Derrrr...derrrr...hey guys whats going on, derrrrrr?
[Long pause]
Kyle: God damn you.

  • Vote for this Quote! • September 6th, 2007


Stan: Thats really, really, terrible dude!
Cartman: Terrible?! Whatever. You guys just don't have brains that can compute complex plans like mine!

  • Vote for this Quote! • September 6th, 2007


Cartman: [as Awesome-0 talking to a movie executive] Adam Sandler is a guy, and he, uh, falls in love with a girl, but it turns out that shes a golden retriever.

  • Vote for this Quote! • September 6th, 2007


Kyle: Hey AWESOM-O, I'd also like some celery sticks chopped up two inches long, with peanut butter and raisins on top.
Cartman: [as AWESOM-O] Suck my balls, Kyle.

  • Vote for this Quote! • September 6th, 2007


Cartman: Alright, d**khole, time for you to pay! [realizes his powers don't work]Oh, no, I have no powers! Kyle took them away from me! Quick, Kyle, give me back my powers so I can fight this evil villian!
Kyle: Okay, okay, you can have your powers back!
Cartman: Alright, now I use my powers to...turn Kyle into a chicken! BLAM!
Kyle: [is turned into a chicken] GODDAMNIT, CARTMAN!
Cartman: [sing-song voice] Ha ha ha ha ha-ha, now you are a chi-cken, nyeh nyeh nyeh nyeh nyeh-nyeh...

  • Vote for this Quote! • September 6th, 2007



Kyle: Okay,hang on guys, I'll use my special power to see into the future, and find out where we should head next.
Cartman: Hold on you guys, I actually have another power. I can see into the future too, but better than Kyle. Let me try...
Kyle: Goddamnit, Cartman, you can't keep making up powers!!
Stan: Yeah, dude, that's like the fifth power you've come up with!
Cartman: ...I am Bullrog, and I have lots and lots of powers.
Kyle: No, asshole! From now on you only get to have one power! So what is it?
Cartman: I have the power to have all the powers I want.
Kyle: That doesn't count, fatass!
Stan: Yeah, that's it, Cartman, now you don't get to have any powers!

  • Vote for this Quote! • September 6th, 2007


Craig: Oh, s**t. You guys are in trouble. We're out of here!
Stan: No, dude! You gotta help us find him!
Craig: To hell with that!
Cartman: We're in this together, Craig!! If Butters tells on us, we're gonna tell on you; that's the ninja code!

  • Vote for this Quote! • September 6th, 2007


Jimmy: Wha-what's the matter, fellas? Are you ninjas or p-p-p-p-p-pussies?
Cartman: We're twice the ninjas you fags are!

  • Vote for this Quote! • September 6th, 2007


Kyle: Stop, dude! You're gonna scramble his brain!
Cartman: Go ahead and scramble it, then he won't remember it was us.

  • Vote for this Quote! • September 6th, 2007


Cartman: You see guys, this is why Jews can't be ninjas. They've got no spine.
Kyle: You don't know anything about Jews, fatass!
Cartman: Oh yeah? My mom took me to see Mel Gibson's movie The Passion, and Mel Gibson says you are snakes, and you are liars. And if the Road Warrior says it, it must be true.

  • Vote for this Quote! • September 6th, 2007


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Total Quotes: 231