Eric Cartman Quotes (Page 9)
Kyle: All right! We're going to Canada!
Cartman: Weak.
Cartman: [to Kyle] You f**king asshole! This is all your fault!
Kyle: What?
Cartman: Everyone's gonna be charitable, and give money to your family instead of buying Christmas presents! You f**king Jews ruined Christmas again! [he screams and charges Kyle]
Cartman: Kyle, I just want you to know, if it were any other time of year, I still wouldn't help you.
• Vote for this Quote! • September 5th, 2007Cartman: Wow, it's like smoking brings a lot of people just a little bit of joy, and you get to take that away from them! You're awesome.
• Vote for this Quote! • September 5th, 2007Cartman: Handle it? For two billion dollars I'd handle my grandpa's balls, sir.
• Vote for this Quote! • September 5th, 2007Cartman: He just goes around imposing his will on people, he's my idol.
• Vote for this Quote! • September 5th, 2007Cartman: You were supposed to kick his ass, not lick his butthole!
• Vote for this Quote! • September 5th, 2007 Kyle: Dude, that new kid is such a douche.
Cartman: Yeah, somebody needs to put him in his place.
Butters: He's a pecker-face, that's what he is.
Cartman: Go kick his ass, Stan!
Clyde: Yeah, go kick his ass.
Stan: (unsure) W—maybe he won't fight.
Cartman: Will he bleed? That's all we care about.
Kyle: Come on, dude, somebody needs to wipe that f**kin' smirk off his face.
Craig: Yeah, little bitch!
Stan: Alright, I'm gonna go kick his ass.
[Stan leaves to do so.]
Cartman: Yeah, go Stan! Go Stan! …alright, I've got five bucks on the other kid, who wants in?
Butters: But Eric, how am I supposed to re-populate the Earth?
Cartman: You know like, with your weiner.
Stan: Dude, it's Kyle's birthday, we should do whatever he wants to do.
Cartman: What? F**k Kyle!
