Eric Murphy Quotes
Eric: We had breakup-sex, all right?
Johnny Drama: Breakup-sex? Never heard of it.
Eric: Yeah, I mean... you know... you have sex and... that's it - you say goodbye.
Johnny Drama: [pauses to think] That's the only kinda sex I have.
Turtle: This is where you should be living, Vince. In a kingdom, like a prince.
Eric: Don't you mean in a kingdom like a king, you idiot?
Vince: Nah, E. Everyone wants to kill the king. But the prince, he just sails along telling all the ladies, "One day I'm gonna be king."
Vince: Johnny Depp's got the kinda career I want.
Eric: Johhny Depp did "Pirates of the Caribbean". And if I'm not mistaken, he wore a swashbuckling costume and carried a sword.
Turtle: Yeah, but he already dresses like that in real life, though.
Eric: We gotta get Cameron to see "Queens Boulevard."
Ari Gold: You haven't even seen it yet!
Eric: I saw the scenes that Vince looped today. They looked amazing.
Ari Gold: Great. So you want me to get the biggest director in the game to see some low-budget indie flick that you think is amazing based on some out-of-context scenes from a looping stage.
Eric: [Eric and Ari are discussing film roles for Vince] Tom Cruise is going to play Pablo Escobar? C'mon, the guy's not even Hispanic.
Ari Gold: Yeah, and Hilary Swank has a vagina, but she won an Oscar pretending she has a d**k. That's what actors do. They pretend.
Eric: All right, I got it. So what if Cruise passes?
Ari Gold: Then they go to Brad Pitt. He passes, they go to Keanu Reeves, and on down the list.
Eric: Where is Vince on that list?
Ari Gold: He ain't on the list.
Eric: Well, how do we get him on the list?
Ari Gold: You do "Aquaman," you stupid f**k!
Eric: [talking to Vincent, after a director does a rewrite on the "Queens Boulevard" script] He's got you blowing a guy on page 26!
• Vote for this Quote! • July 20th, 2007Ari Gold: From now on ask my permission before you bang one of my assistants.
Eric: How'd you know that?
Ari Gold: 'Cause I know all. And I could have told you that this would end badly. Now I gotta to fire her so you don't feel weird.
Eric: No. Don't fire her.
Ari Gold: All right. Well, I'll just sexually harass her until she quits.
Ari Gold: [Ari doesn't want Vince to do Queens Blvd] You know what they feed people on an indi set, Vinne? Nothing! They don't give you a trailer. They tell you to go sit on an apple box. Ever try to bang an extra on an apple box?
Eric: Well, if anybody could do it, Vince could.
Vince: I do have great balance.
Ari Gold: I thought you already were his manager. Because believe me I would not put up with this much s**t from anyone who wasn't.
Eric: Yeah, I know I am, but I want to do it for real, you know? I want to have the conversation, lock it in.
Ari Gold: So you come to me for advice. I'm gonna f**king cry. All right, here's what you do. You deal with talent the same way that you deal with women. You have to make them believe that they need you more then you need them.
Eric: He doesn't need me that much.
Ari Gold: Of course he doesn't need you. You're f**king worthless. I could get a million morons to come in here and do the job. That's not the point.
Eric: Then what is the point, Ari?
Ari Gold: The point is that he is an insecure f**k, like all beautiful-but-handed-everything-on-a-silver-platter people. He doesn't trust anyone in this world but you. You've been born into royalty baby. You know it. Now you just gotta be thankful, and wear the crown.
Turtle: We saw Kristin in the middle of 40 Deuce with her hands down Vince Vaughn's pants.
Eric: She had her hands down his pants?
Johnny Drama: Yeah, both of 'em.
Eric: Vince Vaughn? That puffy motherf**ker?
Johnny Drama: Nah, bro, he didn't look puffy at all... He was lookin' reeeeal good.
Turtle: Yeah, it was kinda like "Swingers" Vince Vaughn, not Old School Vince Vaughn... it's kinda like Neeewww Schoool Vince Vaughn.