Gabrielle Solis Quotes
Susan: "What are you saying? You think Mike is guilty?"
Lynette: Hey, why don't we start that girl talk?"
Gabrielle: "I'll get the ball rolling. Anybody have a yeast infection?"
Bree: "They found Monique's blood on the wrench that Mike was trying to dispose of. I mean, that hardly screams innocence."
Susan: "Her teeth were pulled. You don't think that's worth telling the cops she was messing around with a dentist?"
Gabrielle: "Beauty by Vern. You're opening up a salon? God, could you get any gayer?"
Vern: "It's a consulting firm for beauty pageant contestants.
Gabrielle: "And the answer's yes."
Gabrielle: "Aren't you a little worried that I'm gonna pull focus? I mean, it's a little confusing. People are gonna see Tanya, and then they're gonna see that guy, and they're gonna wonder who I am."
Durkin: "You're the mom.."
Gabrielle: "People aren't gonna buy that, so here's what I was thinking. I slap on one of those gowns, I play Tanya's big sister home from college to raise a little hell."
Susan: "Hey, is that the new neighbor?"
Gabrielle: "Oh, he's cute!"
Lynette: "Edie said he's a bachelor..."
Gabrielle: "Keep talking."
Lynette: "...who lives with his invalid sister."
Gabrielle: "You can stop now."
Susan: "Should we go introduce ourselves?"
Gabrielle: "Yeah, let's give him the scoop on the neighborhood."
Lynette: "Do you think he knows Mary Alice shot herself in his living room?"
Susan: "Then again, he probably wants some time to unpack."
Gabrielle: "You recorded our lovemaking?"
Carlos: "It's all right here, your honor. When she climaxes, she actually starts screaming out dollar amounts."
Gabrielle: "Can I tell you guys something? Something I can only tell you guys?"
Susan: "Oh, God, here she goes again. What grade is he in?"
Gabrielle: "Hey! C**ktails? Nobody called me?"
Susan: "It was spur-of-the-moment. We're numbing the pain of our miserable lives."
Gabrielle: "Oh. Well, I was trying to do that with exercise, but why risk the heart attack? Make mine a double!"
Carlos: "You wanna wash my shorts?"
Gabrielle: "I don't want to, but if you wear them one more time, they're gonna ask me themselves."
Gabrielle: "She promised to stand by him, and once you make that commitment you have to see it through."
Lynette: "Yeah. How's that divorce going?"
Gabrielle: "I'm done talking."
Gabrielle: "You peed in my shampoo. Admit it!"
Carlos: "What?"
Gabrielle: "Yeah, the cap was loose, and I know how your sick mind works."
Carlos: "Oh, really? Well, in that case, you should know that if I was gonna do something like that, I wouldn't do it to your shampoo. I would do it to your mouthwash, soup, and decaf coffee."
