Gabrielle Solis Quotes (Page 2)
Lynette: "So if Tom was cheating, you wouldn't tell me?"
Gabrielle: "No! But I would hire someone to beat the crap out of him."
Lynette: "Aww, you're sweet."
Bree: "Okay, that's what I was thinking. I mean, that's how Bunny Connors got Chlamydia."
Gabrielle: "She told me she got it from wearing someone else's bathing suit."
Lynette:: "No, that's how she got crabs."
Gabrielle: Poor Bunny. It's always something. If it's not the clap, it's a botched face-lift."
Carlos: "Gaby, I'm trying to be civil, but if you don't knock it off right now, I swear, the gloves are coming off."
Gabrielle: "Oh, honey, the gloves aren't just off. They're 70 percent off! Get your cashmere gloves!"
Lynette: "God, I hate my life."
Gabrielle: "I know. I wouldn’t trade with you for anything."
Gabrielle: "Okay, here's the drill. My ex is here and I want to piss him off so just act like you're all hot for me and there's a hundred buck tip in it for you."
Tad: "Right, uh, so should I cup your boob?"
Gabrielle: "No, I'll drive."
Bree: "He did not hack her up and dissolve the pieces in acid."
Gabrielle: "I said it was a theory."
Gabrielle: "Stop eating my fries!"
Carlos: "I'm hungry."
Gabrielle: "You know what the doctor said. You should see his cholesterol. This man bleeds bacon grease."
Mr. Portsmith: "Enough! You two are gonna have to find a way to deal with each other because you are about to bring a child into this world. And divorced or not, once that child arrives, you will be bound together for as long as you live."
Gabrielle: "Well, in that case, have some more fries."
Gabrielle: "You heard me. And I want the bedroom stereo. want the marble console and that painting of Saint Augustine."
Carlos: "You don't even know who he is!"
Gabrielle: "I know he matches the drapes!"
Carlos: "I can't believe you lost our baby!"
Gabrielle: "I did not lose our baby. Stop saying that! I know exactly where it is. Inside some crazy Chinese woman. Who also stole half a chicken from my fridge!"
Gabrielle: "But you're gonna get married. You wouldn't buy a car without at least taking it for a little test drive. It's not like you've never slept with a guy you weren't married to."
Bree: "True, I have in the past, given myself away too freely. How charming of you to bring that up while I'm announcing my engagement. But I'd like to think that I have learned from my mistakes. So the dinner is at eight o'clock and when we make the announcement, please, everybody look surprised."
Gabrielle: "Oh, don't worry, I'm just gonna replay the look I had when I found out you hadn't banged him yet."