George Costanza Quotes (Page 13)
George: You caved?!
Jerry: It's over?!
George: You're out?!
Jerry: Oh my God, the Queen is dead! What happened?
Elaine: It was, uh, John John.
Jerry and George: Ohhhhh. John John.
Nurse: [to female patient] Six o'clock, time for your sponge bath.
Estelle: George… I'm huuunnnggry!
George: Hang on, ma, hang on.
Elaine: John F. Kennedy Junior!
Jerry: What?
Elaine: He was in my aerobics class.
Jerry: Really? Did you talk to him?
Elaine: No, you don't understand - he was working out right in front of me. So, listen, after the class was over, I timed my walk to the door so we'd get there at the exact same moment, and he says to me, "Quite a workout."
George: "Quite a workout"? What did you say?
Elaine: I said, "yeah."
Jerry: Good one.
Jerry: But are you still master of your domain?
George: I am king of the county. You?
Jerry: Lord of the manor.
Jerry: So the nurse was giving her a sponge bath?
George: Every night at 6:30. The nurse was gorgeous. then I got a look at the patient. I was going nuts.
Jerry: Well, I guess you'll be going back to that hospital.
George: Well, my mother, Jerry...
Estelle: I don't understand you. I really don't. You have nothing better to do at 3:00 in the afternoon? I go out for a quart of milk; I come home, and find my son treating his body like it was an amusement park!
George: Ma!
Estelle: Don't give me "Ma." It's a good thing I didn't hit the table. I could have cracked my head open.
George: Ma, people can hear you.
Estelle: Too bad you can't do that for a living. You'd be very successful at it. You could sell out Madison Square Garden. Thousands of people could watch you! You could be a big star!
Kramer: I'm out.
Elaine: What?!
Kramer: Yeah, I'm out - I'm out of the contest.
George: You're out?!
Kramer: Yeah, yeah.. What?
Elaine: Well, that was fast!
Jerry: Well, it was that woman across the street. You know, you better be careful, buddy. She's gonna get you next.
Elaine: What're you looking at?
Jerry: There's a naked woman across the street.
Elaine: [chuckling] This is gonna be the easiest money I've ever made in my life. So, my friend, Joyce, is teaching an aerobics class. I'm gonna go tonight.
Jerry: Yeah.. the - the waitress should've taken it back.
Elaine: So then, I got a call this morning. You know, I was, uh, chosen to go on the space shuttle. We're goin' to Mars.
Jerry: Uh-huh.
George: Have a good time.
Jerry: Hey, let me ask you a question. In these nudist colonies, do they eat naked in the dining room?
George: I would imagine it's all naked.
Jerry: What about the chamber maids? Are they naked, too?
George: They're naked, the gardeners naked.. the bellhops. One big nude-a-rama.
George: Hey, what are you doing tonight?
Jerry: Dating Marla.
George: Oh, the virgin?
Jerry: Yeah.
George: Any, uh.. progress, there? What's the latest?
Jerry: Well, I got my troops amassed along the border - I'm just waiting for someone to give me the go-ahead.
